Page 16 of Plunge

CHAPTER TWELVE

Fletcher

I LAND IN Philly and decide to deal with my visa issues before I head to Oak Creek. I figure I might have better luck with diplomats who are actually on physical American soil. At this point, there’s nothing I can do about work anyway.

Emily is handling the next race, but we have no idea what any of this means for me traveling to Brazil for the next series in the new year.

She also had a lead on some guy named Khalil, a friend of a friend of a friend who works with different embassies regularly.

He’s got a fledgling business as a consultant for American businesses looking to collaborate with Middle Eastern partners, so he’s super interested in my situation both personally and professionally.

Apparently there are a lot of federal offices in Philly, which Emily says I would know if I paid any kind of attention to anything. I resist the urge to remind her I pay her to notice everything for me. I walk to Khalil’s office, clear my throat, and knock on the door.

He answers almost immediately, a short dude in a nice suit with a bright smile. “Mr. Crawford,” he says, shaking my hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you at last.”

I shrug and he gestures for us to come inside, where I tell him everything I know about my situation.

“Yes,” he says, tapping a file on his desk. “Emily has told me all of this. And I was thinking it might be hopeless.”

“Gee, thanks, Khalil,” I say, rolling my eyes.

He grins. “Well there are always bribes, but there’s a delicate art to that. But now I am thinking of a different tactic.” He stares at me and nods.

“Well don’t leave me hanging, man.” I look down and notice my restless leg is thumping away like mad. Thistle used to complain that I shook entire buildings with my knee. I place my open palm on my lap to try and contain myself.

Khalil leans back in his chair and presses his palms together with his fingertips against his chin, thinking. “We will explain to the scorned woman that you left the party in urgent desire to get home to your wife.”

All the oxygen drops out of the room. I cup my hand around my ear as if I misheard Khalil. “My what now?”

He nods. “Yes. Getting home to a wife is a universal concept,” he says, and starts writing things down on a tablet on his desk. “This will work.”

“Hey, um, Khalil, so, one problem I’m seeing is that I don’t have a wife.”

He waves a hand and doesn’t look up. “No matter. You can obtain a wife.” He finishes his list and rips the paper off the tablet with a flourish. “I am ready to reach out through my networks and contact Anya’s staff. This is excellent.”

“Yeah,” I start to sputter, “Except I’m serious, dude. I don’t have a wife. Isn’t she going to, I don’t know, check on that?”

Khalil points down the street. “You see the City Hall building?” I nod. “It’s open until 7:30pm on Wednesdays. Today is Wednesday. Find a woman, take her there, marry her.”

I start shaking my head until I get dizzy. I say, “We’ll go the bribe route. This isn’t happening.”

Khalil chuckles and shakes his head. “No. I am thinking you do not have the resources for the type of gift it would take to restore this woman’s wounded pride. No. You must have a wife. It is the only way.”

“Ok,” I say, pulling out my phone and scrolling a dating app. “I’ll find someone convincing.”

Khalil meets my eyes and says, “It must be someone with whom you have chemistry. It is the only way. She will notice, you see.”

“Ok, so if she’s going to check, I’m screwed anyway. I. Don’t. Have. A. Wife.”

Khalil waves his hand as if this is not a concern. “I can get you a back-dated marriage license. This is simple compared to your other problems.”

I’m starting to feel really skeptical about this whole thing. “You can forge a marriage license but I can’t fake a relationship?”

Khalil nods. “Yes! See, you are understanding. This is all going to be excellent.”

For a minute, I collapse into the chair like a deflated balloon. “Are all of these diplomats just having temper tantrums and black balling people’s work permits?”

Khalil nods again, rolling his eyes. “Yes, this work is very delicate. Anyway, this wife of yours, I imagine you can keep her for three months or half a year. Not a big deal for the right price and the right woman.”

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