Page 9 of Possession

I pull out my phone and start scrolling through my pictures. They’re all of him. Of us together. Me in his jersey with my arm around his waist while he’s in full SCU uniform. Him holding up my scholarship letter, pointing and grinning from ear to ear. No wonder Tia and Elyse kept asking me if we were together. It’s written plain and clear on my face how badly I want him. But it can’t happen. I know that.

But I also think about the other night, when he held me close in his bed, curled against the warm heat of his rock solid body. I feel an unrelenting throb in my center and I know there won’t be any sleep until I ease that ache. I reach down, sliding my hand under the waist of my panties, and I start to rub slow circles against my core.

I think about Baxter, about the heat in his eyes tonight in the training room. I imagine my hands on his back, on the smooth skin covering solid muscle. What would it feel like to trail my tongue along his hard lines? It doesn’t take long before I’m gasping, panting, plummeting over the edge of pleasure.

And then, as fast as it began, it’s over, and I’m alone in my room, somehow feeling ashamed about my entire day.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Olive

BAX DOESN’T CALL, doesn’t return my text, and I don’t see him the entire next day. It feels so off to me, so foreign. I feel hurt about it, because I know he’s upset that Justin moved me to the swim team, but it all just feels worse because I can’t even see Bax to talk about it.

I run into Julia and Gabe in the training room when I arrive after class. They’re both in their final year in the doctoral program for athletic training at SCU, and I know Julia is eager to land a full-time university position. I try to feel her out and talk about what happened with Justin, but she seems tight lipped and quiet when I bring it up.

Instead, she launches into a story about a gymnast with basically a compound fracture in her leg. “Girl wanted to continue her vault work. I was like, um, no. Let’s get you scheduled for surgery.”

Gabe smiles and when I see him lean in to drop a kiss on her temple, I know that my hunch from the other night is correct. I wonder if they’ll get positions at the same university someday. Will they have to live in separate cities so they can each pursue their careers? It doesn’t take long until I start fretting about where I’ll go to grad school, how far that will be from where Bax gets drafted. I’m lost in my thoughts about them when I see Justin come in and tape up the schedule for the training room team for the rest of the week.

“Wait,” I say looking at my name on the chart. “Saturday morning meet?”

Justin’s eyes narrow. “Is there a problem with that, Ms. Hampton? I thought you’d jump at the chance to prepare these athletes for competition. Hands on…”

I bite my lip. He knows I always go to the SCU home games and sit in the family section to support Baxter. Is Justin right, though? Should I be focused on my own career? After all, Baxter will play his best whether I’m there the whole time or not.

I look at the schedule again and decide that, if I hustle after the meet, I can make it to the stadium before halftime.

“No problem,” I say. “I was just surprised is all.”

“Good,” Justins says, and there is no mistaking the sharpness in his tone.

Across the hall, I see the new quarterback talking with Tim, my injured swimmer. It’s unusual for these particular sports to inter mingle, but before I can think too hard about it, Tim saunters into the room, pulling off his shirt.

“I’m ready for my daily torture,” he tells me, grinning. “Hook me up to the juice.” I laugh at his description of the treatment, but get him situated on the training table while Julia checks out the notes on his chart.

“This is all really good work, Olive,” Julia tells me. She looks down at Tim on the table. “You should be competing this weekend, no sweat.”

He grins and tries to pump his fist without tangling the wires on his back. “Well,” he says, “I hope I’m sweating from working hard.”

I finish up his treatment, get him all set with the ice and stretches, and I can’t help but smile because I know that I really have been helping him. It feels good to have so much impact on someone’s recovery. Through it all, though, I can’t help but feel uneasy.

At dinner, I sit with Tia and Elyse and listen to them talk about their plans for after graduation. They’re going to rent an apartment together in the city, hoping they’ll have jobs lined up by May. “I can always wait tables again,” Tia says, telling us about how she worked in a diner growing up. “Speaking of,” she says, “if you really want to get laid, you just need to waltz into a diner on a Friday wearing tight jeans.” Tia shrugs. “The after-bar crowd will be more than happy to cream your donut.”

“Ugh, gross, girl.” Elyse throws a fry at her roommate. “You can’t get a drunken diner dude for your first time. Especially when you’re trying to fuck a crush out of your system.” She gestures at me with another fry. “Don’t even try to tell me it’s not a crush. You’re totally smitten and I think it’s ridiculous that you don’t just open up about it.”

I open my mouth to argue, to tell her that theory is ludicrous, but Tia nods. She says, “I actually think this plan is better than the bang-a-stranger-to-get-it-over-with idea.” She and Elyse launch into a detailed theory about how we could rock friends with benefits or even just burn out in a blaze of orgasms leading up to graduation and the pro football draft.

“Then,” Elyse says, “He’ll go off to Buffalo or wherever the hell and you’ll get a full ride to Berkeley and the distance will be a buffer.”

I see the merits in what they’re saying, but the idea of losing touch with Baxter horrifies me. It’s not just about physical proximity. He calms me, supports me, grounds me. Is my barometer when I’m afraid or upset.

“No,” I tell them. “I can’t cross that line with Bax.”

They look at me, a bit sad, and we finish our meal in silence.

CHAPTER NINE

Bax

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