Page 19 of Possession

I’M AVOIDING BAX. And I know he knows it. I’m not done figuring out how I should respond to what happened after his game. The feelings he drummed up when he told me he loved me, when he kissed me…I know he wasn’t conscious, but I haven’t been able to let go of my racing heart, of my throbbing ache of need.

And, frankly, Tim needs me right now. His confession to me in the coffee shop opened a floodgate for him, and he and I spent hours together talking about his fears that his family will reject him, shun him forever.

Where my parents’ rejection stung, it wasn’t unexpected or even unwelcome. It’s not like I had a warm and loving embrace to miss now that I have no relationship with them at all. Tim has nieces and nephews and siblings, and he’s absolutely convinced they will reject him if they find out the truth.

Baxter is going to lose his damn mind when he finds out I’m going to the banquet with Tim. Bax has always been so protective…I’m not sure if he knows, but his intimidation of every guy in a 20-mile radius meant that I have basically zero experience with guys. A few fumbled kisses at parties. A few stolen dances in dark frat basements where I awkwardly ground against some stranger’s hips.

That prolonged kiss with Bax the other night was far and away the most action I’ve had. And one thing became crystal clear: I need more. If I don’t get some physical stimulation with a guy, I’m going to combust.

So rather than deal with any of the crap going on with me and Bax, I dive into my work in the training room, utterly ignore my best friend, try to console my newest friend…and grow increasingly sexually frustrated.

Tia and Elyse are, of course, insisting I try to seduce Bax. I sort of snapped at them the last time I saw them, so when I rap on their door later, I try to smooth things over so they’ll help me make a plan.

“Hey,” I say. I’ve come bearing peace offerings from the training room. “Anyone want any SCU gear? It’s the good stuff.” I hold out a box full of extra team polos and the coveted gray SCU sweatpants all the athletes wear. My neighbors gasp and urge me into the room.

“How’d you get all this stuff,” asks Tia.

I remind her and Elyse that I work in the training room “This is a perk, I guess!”

Elyse pulls the sweatpants on over her pajama shorts. “These are so soft,” she says, cooing. “This is amazing of you to share.” She nods at the TV. “Wanna watchOutlanderwith us?”

I perch on the edge of Elyse’s bed and sigh with them as the attractive actors fight off their enemies. “Men in kilts, am I right?” Tia flops back against the bed. I nod in agreement, getting interested when the female lead begins treating a shirtless guy’s dislocated shoulder.

I’ve been studying dislocated shoulders for years. We see one or two each season with the football team…not really any with the swimmers. I’m suddenly super interested in this show, but Tia grabs the remote and fast forwards just as Claire is about to help the wounded guy. “Wait!” I yell. “I want to see her fix his shoulder.”

Elyse gags, and I explain my professional fascination with this injury. “OMG,” Tia says. “Better you than me. I’ll go to the bathroom so I don’t have to hear. Pause it after the gross part, ok?”

She and Elyse run off to the ladies room and I watch Claire fix Jamie’s arm, sighing at the thought of relieving someone’s pain with such skill, even as I cringe at her technique. When the girls get back, they tease me about my morbid fascination with injuries. I just shrug. But the time feels ripe to ask them for help.

“Hey,” I say timidly, fidgeting with their popcorn dish. “Can you help me pick an outfit for the banquet?”

They click off the TV and turn toward me, rapt. “Holy shit,” they say. “Are you finally going to bag Baxter Morgan?”

I flush. Seeing my face, Tia rolls her eyes. “Come on, Olive.”

“Like I said, Baxter and I are just friends,” I tell them. They start to respond, but I hold up a hand. “But I decided I agree with you. I need to get laid. I was thinking I could…enticesomeoneFriday night at the banquet.”

Suddenly the room is a whirlwind of activity. Elyse is a business logistics major with an entire closet full of power suits. Tia agrees with her that, since I’m not one for skirts, I should rock a sexy suit on Friday. We spend the next 45 minutes practicing walking the dorm halls in spike heels until I feel confident I’m not going to tip over.

They both agree to help me with my hair and makeup on Friday, and when I finally go off toward my room, I feel energized and excited. I’m going out with a guy, and there’s no pressure because, well, he’s in love with someone else, too.

And, somewhere along the way, I’m going to find someone at that party and I’m going to have sex with him. I’m going to let all out the sexual frustration and it’s going to help me focus. I can tell.

High on the anticipation of the next few days, I don’t notice that my room is occupied until someone pulls me inside, slamming the door shut behind me.

“Where the hell have you been, Liv?” Baxter Morgan has apparently gotten sick of me avoiding him.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Bax

I KNOW IT’S not fair that I storm in and out of Olive’s life like this, but damn it, I need her this week. So much shit is going on. And I haven’t talked to her for days. I don’t think I’ve gone this long without seeing her in the whole time we’ve known each other.

“Liv,” I say, as she opens her mouth to scream. “It’s me! Where have youbeen?”

When she tells me she’s been across the hall watching television, I tug her over to the couch, and accidentally pull her onto my lap as I hit my head on the damn loft bed. “I don’t mean just today. I haven’t seen you since Sunday morning!”

I pull her tight into a hug, not knowing how much it was going to affect me to see her again after so long. I feel my heart racing and I realize what I’d most like to do is kiss her, and so I take a deep breath and ease her onto the couch next to me, leaning back to put some space between us before I cross a line.