Page 18 of Possession

“Well, it sounds like you have imagined it, and it’s not something you’re willing to let happen.” I pat his hand. “If they don’t know how amazing you are, they’re really missing out.”

He snorts. “Oh, they think I’m amazing. But only because they have no idea who I’d—” He pauses. He picks at the rim of his coffee cup, unfurling the waxed cardboard. He leans close and whispers, “They don’t know I’m gay.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Bax

OLIVE ISN’T ANSWERING her phone, and when I try to stop by her place later, she’s not even home. I hate that she’s been moved to another sport for her training room rotations, because now our schedules don’t line up at all. Even though I’m on injured reserve, I still have to be at practice, watch game tape, do what I can in the weight room, plus now spend my last free hour of the day getting treatment for my shoulder. I’m getting pretty sick and tired of my schedule not being my own, but I guess that’s the life I’m signing up for if I want this for my career.

I storm into the athletes’ dining hall and of course, the only seat left is next to Kevan. Fucking QB transfer wants to talk my ear off as usual. “What,” I say to him. “No potato chips today?”

He shakes his head. “That’s only for game nights. Helps me focus. So are you in for the banquet?”

I throw my hands in the air, which tweaks my shoulder and makes me groan. “Fuck, man. Fine. Whatever. I’m not getting you flowers.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.”

I raise a brow at him. “What do you know about Olive going to the banquet with some other guy?”

This makes him grin. He points his fork at me. “I’ll tell you if you fess up about why it matters.”

“I told you. Olive’s like family. She’s all I’ve got.”

Kevan twirls the fork. “You know, a lot of romantic shit goes down at these banquets. So I hear, anyway. Hope Olive can handle it.”

I tug at my hair with both hands, trying to calm down. I know that he’s just trying to get under my skin. But it’s been a long week.

He takes a swig of his protein shake and looks at me. “Why won’t you just say you want to fuck her, man? It’s obvious you want to bang the shit out of Olive Hampton. You want to pound her—”

My fist shoots out into his face before I can even control my arm. “Fuck!” I scream as the impact jars my injured shoulder. “Just shut your fucking mouth, Kevan. Jesus. Shut up.”

The cafeteria is silent as everyone stares at us. Kevan pats my face playfully and punches my good shoulder as he works his jaw open and shut. “We’re just screwing around, guys. It’s fine,” he says. Everyone else goes back to their meals. “So,” he says, grinning. “I’m just going to go ahead and assume I’m right.”

“It’s not like that, man. I fuckingloveher.” The words fall out of my mouth before I can stop to think about it. Before the conscious part of my brain can yell at me to shut up and ignore that impossible scenario. “I fucking love her.”

Kevan leans back in his chair, munching on a chicken breast. “So what’s the big deal, then? Go marry her and put giant babies inside her.”

I shake my head. “I can’t do that. I can’t risk our friendship. When I say she’s all I have, man…she’s it. I don’t have a family. I don’t have parents who support me no matter what.” Kevan’s social media profile is full of pictures of him with his parents all decked out in Pride shirts.

I looked him up online. He’s right—I had to be an asshole not to notice he’s gay.

I meet his eye. “If—no, when. When I mess shit up with Olive, romantically, then I won’t have her as a friend anymore. You have seen first hand that I’m a dick. I don’t do relationships, I don’t know how to be with women. And I’m not going to risk turning Olive away. I can’t risk that. I need her.”

He raises a brow at me. “How do you know you’ll fuck it up? You seem ok. I mean, yes. You’re an asshole, but the team likes you.”

I scoff at him. “Trust me,” I tell him. “I’ll fuck it up.” All I’ve ever heard my entire life is what a piece of garbage I am. My father’s favorite line is that I couldn’t convince my own mother to stick around once her preferred kid died. “It’s better this way.”

Kevan chews the rest of his carrots and takes a long drink of his shake. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and stares at me. “You’d rather go on a friend-date with your gay substitute quarterback than tell Olive you love her?”

I open my mouth to tell him he’s an idiot and hasn’t listened to anything I said. But he keeps going. “You can’t even sit and imagine what it would look like if things turned out your way? You’re right—I have no idea what your family situation is, man. My family is fucking amazing. They’re coming over today just to hang out. But listen.”

He stands up and throws a crumpled napkin onto my plate. I swat it away and look up at him. “She’s not all you’ve got, ok? You’ve got me.” He gestures his elbow toward my roommates, who are currently arguing over an issue ofCar and Driver.“And you’ve got those assholes, too. We’re not going anywhere, even if you’re a sulky prick.”

And then he walks out of the cafeteria before I can come up with something snarky to say back to him.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Olive

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