Page 12 of Possession

Emily nods. “Gotcha. Another time, right?”

“Definitely.”

By the time I get up into the family section, it’s midway into the second quarter. Scotty’s mom waves me over to my seat and hands me a bag of popcorn. “Olive, there you are! We just weren’t sure what on earth happened to you.”

I explain about getting my assignment switched to swimming. I realize with a jolt that I didn’t even check to see if the Otters won the swim meet. I really should be more invested if I’m going to help take care of the team. I start to feel bad until I see Baxter turn around from the bench. Then I feel worse.

“He’s having an off day,” Scotty’s mom whispers to me. “Maryland running back snuck past him for a first down early in the game.” I cringe. I know this isn’t my fault, but I feel guilty that I wasn’t here to show Bax support when he missed a tackle.

Bax scans the crowd, looking absolutely miserable, until he finds me. Relief floods his face as I wave and shout, and then his expression quickly fades to irritation. I can tell he’s angry that I missed so much of the game.

Bax leans down and talks to one of the water carriers, who looks baffled that one of the players is speaking to him. Bax puts an arm on the guy’s shoulder, and he nods rapidly and runs off. Soon, the water boy pokes his head into our section, breathless.

“Ms. Hampton?” I nod. “Baxter just wanted to make sure you’d be in the training room after the game.”

I swallow. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to do that…but if Baxter wants me there, I don’t see the harm. I nod and turn my attention back to the game. The SCU defense takes the field to open the second quarter.

I watch the snap, the pass, the reception and the smack as Baxter flies down the field and flattens the wide receiver. Most people have their eyes on the big screen watching the replay, but I’m looking over at Bax. I see that it takes him longer than usual to get up. He’s hurting, and he’s angry. So very angry.

But Baxter has been angry for years. Sometimes he thinks he’s angry about one thing, but usually, he’s angry about his dad. He’s angry about his brother. He’s angry that his mother left.

Baxter spends so much time curled up on my couch confessing to me how very, very angry he is, and the only way he seems to express any of that anger is out on the football field. Playing football seems to calm him, give him an outlet to focus his anger. Most of the time.

For the rest of the game, I cringe watching him play. His adrenaline must be pounding through his veins as he chases down players who may or may not even have the ball. He slams them all into the ground, again and again, getting up with a roar I can hear across the stadium, where the other parents in our section look at me with wide eyes.

Over the loudspeaker, the announcer keeps talking about Baxter’s stats, and I know he will eventually feel excited that he played so well. Scouts will likely see him today and this will help his career. But I also know that everything he’s doing is in response to feelings stirred up inside. Baxter Morgan is hurting.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Olive

Stone Creek pulls out a win against Maryland, which is a bit of an upset, so the mood in the stadium is ecstatic. Fans are jumping and screaming, hugging and crying. I wind my way through everyone down to the players’ entrance to the stadium. The security guards know me by now and wave me through the barricade so I can wait for Bax in the training room.

Justin glares at me, and I hesitate as I walk toward him. “Bax asked me to be here,” I tell him. “I’m off the clock, just here for my friend.” Justin furrows his brow and looks like he’s about to say something, when the guys start limping in from the field.

“This is a restricted area. For players and staff only,” Justin finally says.

The players who are really hurting stop by the training room before they even talk to the media, so they’re still peeling themselves out of shoulder pads and helmets. I glance around, but don’t see anyone I know well.

When I don’t move, Justin grabs my upper arm, his fingers digging into my skin, and quickly marches me to the hall. “Players and staff only, Ms. Hampton. You’ll do well to remember that.”

Before I can open my mouth again to protest, I hear the sound of football spikes clacking down the hall. I look over to see Baxter coming slowly.

“Shit, Liv,” he says, and I can see that he’s really in pain. He doesn’t even comment that Justin laid his hands on me, and Justin quickly releases my arm as Baxter approaches.

“It’ll be ok, Bax. We’ll get you fixed up.” I squeeze his hand and he winces. He walks into the room and turns around, to see that Justin has blocked my path again.

“Ms. Hampton will have to meet you afterward, Morgan,” he practically sneers. “This space is for athletic team personnel and players only. If you could please let us do our job.” Justin moves to shut the door.

“What the fuck,” Baxter roars. He tries to lift his arm, and then winces and groans. He looks to Justin, pleading. “Please, man.”

Coach Burns walks in the room just then and starts patting his players on the shoulder. “JT, tell me about your thumb, kiddo?” Coach makes his way around the room, checking everyone out while I stand hesitating in the doorway, and Justin relents. His nostrils flare as he breathes. “Fine, she can come in. But she is not assessing. She is here in a moral support capacity.“

Bax grabs for my hand. “Please stay,” he says again. I nod and stay close. Justin starts poking and prodding while Bax winces but tells him nothing hurts.

Justin rolls his eyes and grabs Baxter’s arm. He raises it up and tries to circle it around as Baxter moans. Justin doesn’t seem to be reading Baxter’s nonverbal cues at all, is just going through the motions of a joint check. He doesn’t even look to see Baxter’s obvious pain response when he performs certain maneuvers. It’s killing me not to jump in, not to say what I suspect has happened.

“Hey,” I say, finally, stepping in between Baxter’s legs. I grab his cheeks and pull his face down so his forehead rests against mine. “You have to tell us where it hurts so we can help you.”

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