Page 23 of Tributary

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Diana

SARA INSISTS ON joining Abigail and me at the Nobler Experiment after work. She doesn’t even know about the whole chicken incident, but grills me about the paperwork I had her draw up so Asa Wexler can’t run his fat mouth about my intellectual property.

“You do realize that not all men are criminal scud buckets who are misleading you in a theft attempt?” Sara squints into her pint glass, studying. “This is me, your lesbian friend, telling you this.”

Abigail is an eternal lightweight, tipsy and emotional after two pints. She gestures widely and says, “I wanna hear more about the scud bucket. Indigo always made me tell everything when I was getting with Hunter.”

“Yeah,” I tell her. “I know. I was there and it was my brother and it’s gross.” Sara scowls at me. I quickly add, ”But of course I’m glad you’re getting your engine revved. Every woman deserves that.”

Sara nods approvingly, but turns the conversation back to me. “Tell me again why we hate Asa Wexler? I seem to recall a story about an engine revving that was unparalleled…how many orgasms did you say it was?”

“She’s at seven!” Abigail hiccups. “God, I miss Hunter.”

“We came here tonight to support Abigail,” I say, trying to reroute the conversation. I flag down Tessy and order a bucket of fries to mop of the alcohol inside my brother’s girlfriend.

“Di was amazing, Sara,” Abigail gushes. She starts to cry again, relaying the story of her ill-fated chicken.

“Can you believe Asa said Abigail should have called my dad? That’s some kind of sexist bullshit. Like I’m incapable of slaughtering a chicken.” I snatch the bucket from Tessy and shove a scalding hot fry in my mouth. She scowls at me. “Sorry, Tess. It’s been a day.”

As she walks off, Sara crosses her arms and looks at me. “Maybe he was acknowledging that, unlike you, your father currently owns and cares for chickens.”

“Why are you so eager to defend him? He drives me crazy!”

Abigail reaches across the table and taps Sara’s arm. “Asa dug the hole for the chicken,” she says. “You should see him look at Diana. Like the moon glows off her face.”

“Oh, I’ve seen it,” Sara says. “And I think Diana’s seen it, too, and it scares the shit out of her.” She flags down Tessy again and orders another pitcher of beer.

A few hours later, I’ve forgotten just why I felt so irritated today. I’ve also forgotten how to find my way to the bathroom of the Nobler Experiment, so I stop at the bar to ask Tessy for directions. I see her staring at me and she looks over my shoulder, where Sara and Abigail are throwing fries in each other’s mouths across the table. “I’m calling you a ride,” Tessy says.

“Pshhh! It’s a half mile walk!”

Tessy raises a brow. “Show me how you walk to the bathroom, then.” She points at the back wall.

“There it is! See? I found it!”

By the time I stagger back out from the bathroom, Indigo has arrived to collect us. Her dark curls bounce as she struts over to collect her wife and Abigail. “Come on, girls,” Indigo says. “Your electric chariot awaits.”

“Oooh, Babe, did you charge the Leaf?” Sara claps her hands. “We almost never get to drive anywhere, you know?”

“I know.” She and Sara link arms and begin walking to the parking lot. Abigail follows and I fumble in my vest pocket for some bills to leave for Tessy. I approach the car parked outside and I see all my friends waving their arms inside the car.

“What?” I start walking toward the rear passenger door. When I pull it open, Abigail’s hair blows out in the breeze and gets caught in my mouth.

“Other side, girl. Other side! We’ve been yelling.”

“Ok, ok,” I say, slamming the door shut. Abigail screams, and I see that I’ve closed her dark tresses into the door. It seems to take forever to get it back open and tuck her hair inside so I can close the door.

I walk around to the driver’s side and slither into the back seat, pulling the door closed. “FUCK!” I screech. “Now I closed my hair in the damn door.” The girls all howl with laughter, which only intensifies when we realize the doors are child-locked and I can’t even open it from the inside to free my hair.

Indigo is practically crying with laughter as she climbs out to free my long hair. “I’m shaving my damn head,” I say. “Drop me at Rinaldo’s for a buzz cut.”

“Nobody’s shaving any heads,” Indigo says, finally catching her breath.

As Indigo pulls out of the lot, Sara leans her head back on the seat and says, “Wanna hear about a mysterious real estate deal?”

“Always!” Indigo comes to a complete stop at the intersection as if there would ever be another car coming in this town. I roll my eyes as she looks both ways.

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