Page 12 of Tributary

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Diana

ABIGAIL AND INDIGO texted me repeatedly all day to meet them at the Nobler Experiment after work. Oak Creek is a dry town—no thanks to meddling senior citizens—and the Nobler Experiment sits right across from the town limits. Townspeople flock there if they’re looking for a social gathering that does not involve Tai Chi, kombucha, or caffeine.

I’ve been avoiding my friends since the Asa Encounter, and I know they know this. The whole thing just makes me so uncomfortable. But Abigail’s right. I haven’t made fun of Indigo’s baking habit for a whole week.

I lock up and set all my alarms for my lab, then walk the few blocks to the bar. My eyes take a minute to adjust to the bright light after walking there in the dark. As I stand in the doorway banging sidewalk slush off my boots, my friends rush up and grab my arms.

“Diana Crawford, enough of this avoidance.” Indigo’s curly hair shakes as she jabs a finger into my chest. She shoves me into a booth across from her and her wife, Sara. Abigail starts pouring liquor from a plastic pitcher and shoving too-full glasses toward all of us.

“Now,” Indigo continues. “We’ve heard all about Abigail and Hunter trying out video sex from outer space. So you’re welcome for holding that convo before you got here. It’s your turn to tell us the real story about who sent you plant clippings from Germany and why you’ve been holed up in your root cellar.”

“My seedlings reached maturity—”

“Nope.” Sara cuts me off. “Last time that happened you were still at our house every night for Schitt’s Creek. Try again.”

“Weren’t you and Indigo supposed to update us on your baby process?”

Indigo swigs her drink and grins. “We chose a donor and ordered a tank of sperm. There. You’re up.”

I sigh. These girls are worse than my mother. “He breaks all my rules,” I begin, spinning my glass between my fingers, not meeting their eyes.

Sara grunts, and Abigail leans forward. “What rules? Like safety rules?”

I shake my head, and Indigo butts in. “Diana only bangs men she doesn’t have to see again.”

Sara nods, adding, “She goes into the city once a quarter to get laid and spends the rest of her time moping at our place.”

“I do not mope!”

Abigail frowns at this and says, “You said something about hating men when we first met. I remember because I was off men, too…after my ex…”

Abigail came to Oak Creek when her loser boyfriend raised a hand to her. She and my brother have been pretty much inseparable, though. Apart from his current journey to the space station. “It’s nothing like your shit-head ex,” I tell her, swigging from my glass, which turns out to be filled with watery margarita. “I had a bad breakup in graduate school and I don’t care to do that again.”

“Bad breakup? The guy stole your research, patented it, and sold it for millions of dollars.” Sara is still salty that I never hired her to sue Jay, but she was fresh out of law school then, and I was too angry and bitter to do anything productive. I moved back home to Oak Creek and bought the Houseplant Haven instead.

“So you made man rules…and this new guy broke them?” Abigail prods, slurping down a second glass of watery booze.

“Well, I mean, he…you know I’m talking about Asa Wexler, right?”

Her eyes widen. “You slept with Asa? Ooh, I bet that was exciting. He has very nice fingers.” I can’t help but laugh at tipsy Abigail. It’s been great making friends with her, even if she is sleeping with my weirdest brother. “I heard you did it right in front of your store window.”

“Damn it, Indigo. Did you blab?”

“I did not,” Indigo insists. “I just told Abigail the highlights after she told me about her outer space cybersex—don’t make that face, Diana—because she and Hunter aren’t the only ones in this town getting freaky and spontaneous. The rest of us old married people just live for this kind excitement, Diana. Now. When are you seeing him again?”

I shrug. “I guess when he comes to town. But like I said, he breaks my rules. He works with my family. I’m not starting a relationship with him.”

“But he sent you a plant!” Indigo grabs my hand. “That’s way more romantic than when Hunter got Abigail apology chickens.”

“This town is so weird,” Abigail says, and she drains her glass. “But if he sent you a special plant, he must want to show you his fingers again.” She hiccups. I laugh. “Want me to get his cell number from Hunter? Then you can text Asa a picture of your boobs.”

Indigo and Sara applaud this idea, and help Abigail get out her phone. She’s in the middle of texting my brother before I dive across the table and snatch the phone from her. “Abigail. Stop it. I’m not having my brother’s girlfriend ask some guy for his cell number.”

Abigail tilts her head and stares at me. “That’s right,” she says. “You don’t trust people. That’s why you do everything yourself.”

“Well yeah,” I scoff. Everyone knows that. Don’t they? I look around the table at my friends, who look back at me uncomfortably. I trusted them with my secret this week, didn’t I? I trusted them not to broadcast all around town that I had an exhibitionist morning. “Look what happened the last time I trusted someone…”

My brother’s girlfriend clutches my hand and meets my eye. “Thank you for showing me your special pot plants, Diana.” She hiccups. “Are you going to sell them to that doctor guy?”

The energy shifts and I can tell we’re done digging into my personal life. I tell the girls how I’m packing up to go to Pittsburgh this week and deliver the latest batch. Indigo and Abigail insist I should go get my hair done before the trip, and before I can stop the bleeding, even Sara agrees I need to spruce up my look to make this sales call. She knows how important it is for me to maintain research clientele if I’m going to scale up and grow for the medical dispensaries.

“All right, all right,” I tell them. “I’ll go to the mall and get a new suit and a haircut. Are you satisfied?”

“NO!” Indigo pounds on the table. “I’m going with you, dang it. We can pick up my sperm tank while we’re out getting you new underthings.”

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