Page 41 of Tributary

CHAPTER THIRTY

Diana

I DON’T SLEEP at all that night. My thoughts wave back and forth, reliving the shameful, burning waves of emotion I felt after I realized Jay’s true colors, and then flicking to Asa offering me money in exchange for I don’t even know what. Why can’t he just be content to be my stress relief? There’s no denying the chemistry between us. Even now, days since I last slept with him, my body clenches at the memory of him doing nasty, delicious thing, and then hurling me around to try out more of his raunchy ideas.

And then he sits in the moonlight and tells me I’m a goddess and that he wants more.

A small part of me acknowledges that I, too, like the idea of more with him, of him being the one to wrap his arm around my waist at all the Oak Creek festivals. But the idea of opening myself up to that sort of risk again leaves me shivering.

I give up trying to rest around 4 am and check out of the hotel. I wander along the high line until the sun comes up, then make my way to the train station.

I don’t bother to check in with my family or friends when I get home. Instead I go straight to the Houseplant Haven to check on my plants. Even though I know I have nobody to buy them, that I shouldn’t even keep growing them.

I stand for awhile and watch the equipment operating—the lights changing colors, the hydration machines misting the plant roots with their fortified water. All of it seems like a hypnotic dance, complete with flashing lights. The past few days at the conference I really felt like I was part of the scientific community again. Even the introverted botanists still get together to collaborate and swap stories.

After a few minutes I start to really think about what Asa said. What am I even doing here in Oak Creek? Hiding my head ever since graduate school? Making astringent from home grown witch hazel? Brewing beer in my store room?

I start to feel ridiculous. There’s no reason I shouldn’t have applied for a post doctoral appointment somewhere. What was I even thinking? That I could totally side step organized scientific industry and create something new literally on my own?

Nobody runs entire research endeavors entirely on their own. When Hunter was with the space agency, he had whole teams of people handling publicity and strategy…he just wanted to do research. Even now, I like to yell about Asa taking all his glory, but Hunter has made it abundantly clear that Wexler Holdings helped him find strategic partners, and really utilize the support network of the college. Hunter gets to spend all his time in his lab.

Isn’t that what I want? Do I really need my name on the side of a building? Lost in thought, I don’t hear when my brother Archer makes his way into the shop.

“Saw your lights on, Di. When did you get back?”

“Look at you out and about before noon.” Archer looks like he’s seen better days. He snorts.

“It’s April and I’m a CPA,” he says. “I don’t know if I’ve slept this week.”

I wince, noticing his bloodshot eyes and bushy beard, but then I just blurt out the question that’s been at the edge of my thoughts this morning. “What’s involved in getting an investor?”

His eyebrows fly up. “Wow! Um, actually, I don’t know if that’s the best question for me specifically. I think that’s more of a lawyer question.” Archer scratches his chin and stretches his arms above his head. “But while you’re visiting with a lawyer, maybe you should start by asking what’s involved in suing a certain company for…well I’m sure a lawyer would know what to call it.”

For the first time, the suggestion that I go after Jay legally doesn’t cause me to shut down. I stare at my brother, marveling that he so casually brings up the worst thing that ever happened to me, like it’s just a simple matter of paperwork. But maybe it is. Archer finds people who embezzle. He likes to sample my beers and tell me all about tax crimes, always bringing things back to Al Capone, the notorious gangster who finally got caught on tax evasion, of all things.

I don’t really want anything to do with Epi-D anymore. I’d rather not revisit any of that…but maybe Archer is right. Maybe it’s a relatively simple matter to get the money I need for my certification for this current project.

“Arch, you stink,” I tell him, sniffing at him, expressing my feelings of gratitude the only way that seems natural to me. He grins and pulls me under his arm for a sweaty hug.

“I think I need to hire someone next spring to help with the overflow,” he says, not even trying a comeback comment. “Walk with me back to the office?”

I look around the shop, at the curtain of vines climbing up front window, of the space that has been equal parts haven and hiding place. I nod and lock up, following him to the office building he shares with Sara.

---