Page 88 of The Grief We Hold

“What happened?”

“A rival club, the Midtown Rebels MC, tried to come and take our turf. They failed, but not before causing us problems. We took strong action against them. Tanner called Hallie and Lottie ‘collateral.’ It’s part of the reason I can’t stand the fucker. He reduced my family to some disposable asset because we’re a motorcycle club.”

“Oh, God.”

Wraith swallows deeply and looks away for a moment. “I found ‘em. Not telling you all the details because you’ll never get them out of your head.”

Tears sting my eyes. I think of Fen. “I’m so very sorry that happened to you, Wraith.”

He takes a deep breath and another gulp of his beer. “That’s why I freaked out after we spent the night together. It was such agood fucking night. Felt good to come back to my room and find you there. Even better to know you’d tried to stay awake because you cared. Never kissed anyone since Hallie. You were the first.”

“That’s a long time to be celibate.”

Wraith shakes his head. “Never said I was celibate, Blue. Just that I never kissed anyone I hooked up with. And before you start wondering who else I slept with, it doesn’t matter, becausetheydidn’t matter. They filled a need is all. You’re the first I’ve kissed.”

My heart flutters in my chest as my brain tries to tell me that’s a low-bar compliment.

“I woke up that morning feeling so good about fucking everything, just ‘cause I’d slept with you. Like you charged the life back into me. And then I remembered Hallie and felt so fucking disloyal to her. Got myself in a tailspin overthinking shit. Seemed like the easiest thing to do was distance myself from you while I screwed my head back on. It was weakness. Won’t happen again.”

I put my hand on his cheek and hope I come up with the right words to convey what I’m thinking.

But I’m not sure anything I say will be right.

28

WRAITH

“Iappreciate you telling me,” Raven begins. I don’t know if she’s realized, but her eyes are rimmed with tears.

“You deserve the truth. In time, I can try to share more.”

She takes my hand and plays with my fingers, threading her own through them. “I thought my husband was a good man when we met. He was so smart. Dressed well in a suit. Over time, he became someone I didn’t recognize. Like you, the full details aren’t for now, but I’m wary of being with anyone else, let alone someone who isn’t in the right place to commit to being with me.”

I reach for her and tug her so she’s sitting on my lap. I can tell she’s unused to being handled that way, but I hold her tight. “That’s why I’ve brought you here. That’s why I’m telling you all this. Iamready. I had these big plans to ask you out to dinner with me yesterday. I thought we could go to Whiskey Fever to watch some live music after. But you were pissed at me still, rightfully so. I stroked your thigh, and you stepped out of reach. I was just waiting for the right time to follow you into the kitchen to convince you. Then those fucking bullets flew.”

Raven finally nestles her head on my shoulder. Her hair tickles the side of my face. It feels good. The weight of her against me. The scent of oranges.

“You confused me, Wraith. You told me to leave the clubhouse. Then you saved me and took me and Fen home. You dismissed me. But last night and this morning you eased me. I guess I just need the reassurance you aren’t going to suddenly change your mind again. And I don’t want to live in a small town where I already have an enemy. I need to be somewhere my nervous system can just relax for a hot minute.”

“Do that here, with me.” I tip her chin so I can see those pretty eyes of hers. “Life is messy whether we want it to be or not, Blue. Sometimes, you’ve just got to choose your struggle, so life doesn’t choose it for you. But in case any part of this conversation has been unclear…I want you and Fen to stay while we see if we can become something…more.”

“Really?” Her eyes are filled with hope.

I kiss her softly. No point revving our engines when Fen is just down the hallway, and we aren’t in a locked bathroom.

“Really. Now tell me about your fuck of a husband.”

Raven sighs. “He’s a financial advisor turned con artist. He screwed the wrong people over and left me alone to face them when they came for their money.”

“Jesus, Blue. You must have been terrified.”

“He used to help average people get a retirement plan or figure out how to save for a mortgage down payment. We lived in a nice Seattle suburb. When I was pregnant, he started listening to those toxic masculinity and finance bros podcasts. He started going to the gym, using steroids. What I didn’t know was he’d started coming up with all these get-rich-quick, Ponzi or pyramid-type schemes. I don’t even understand the half of it.”

I don’t like where this is going. But I want Raven to tell me all of it. If I know what she’s running from, I can better keep her safe. “How do you get from there to here?”

Raven nibbles the skin by the side of her thumbnail, and gently I hold her wrist to pull her hand away to stop her.

“He’d been really stressed and angrier than I’d ever seen him. Piecing it together, I think he knew he was about to be found out. I woke one morning, and he was gone. It wasn’t all that unusual because he worked long hours. But then he never came home and didn’t answer his phone. I made a missing person’s report. After two days, I checked the safe. I can’t even remember what made me think to do it. His passport was missing, and he’d taken all the cash. That was when I realized that he wasn’t coming home.”

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