Page 76 of The Grief We Hold

And wife?

What thefuckam I thinking about?

Raven pulls a chair over to sit in front of me. “Hold this,” she says, placing the edge of the bandage on my chest.

I put my fingers over hers, and do as she says.

She leans forward, passing the bandage behind my back. The action brings her closer to me, and her warmth seeps into my bloodstream.

There’s no music, no television. Just the sound of her breathing and the gentle scratch as Fen drags his crayons over the paper.

The bandage tightens around me, holding everything secure.

This time, when she moves to reach behind me and pass the bandage between her hands, I kiss the side of her forehead.

It catches Raven off guard, and she pauses to look at me.

Sometimes, a look means nothing. A passing glance at something that catches the eye. But sometimes, a look means everything. When there’s honesty in it. And vulnerability. And a spark that could ignite any second.

I cup her cheek, running my thumb over it.

She sighs sweetly, and just when I’m about to kiss her, she glances towards Fen.

In understanding, I release her and smile.

“Thank you,” she says quietly.

It takes another minute before she’s happy with my dressing, and she’s just admiring her handiwork when there’s a knock at the door.

Raven jumps, and Fen looks straight towards the staircase.

“It’ll be Smoke, Blue. Let me go get it.”

Making sure Fen isn’t watching, I grab my gun that I put on top of the fridge, away from Fen’s reach and eyes. I’m confident it’s Smoke, but I’d be foolish to risk it after today.

Raven watches me, and I half expect that fear to return to her eyes. Instead, I see something that feels a lot like respect for who I am and what I do.

Holding on to the towel around my waist, I tread down the stairs.

She needs a peephole, or a camera on the outside so she can see who she’s answering the door to.

“Who is it?” I ask.

“It’s me.” Smoke’s distinctive voice carries through the wood.

I open the door wide. “Thanks, brother.”

“That’s quite the medical cleanup.” He hands me a bag.

I grin. “Raven wanted to make sure the dressings don’t move around.”

“She kiss everything better too?” he asks.

“Fuck you. Her kid’s home.”

“Expert cockblocking from Fen then.”

“You need anything else, or you just gonna make wisecracks?” But I’m smiling, because for once, I actually feel happy.

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