Page 57 of The Grief We Hold

“I didn’t tell her to get the fuck out.”

Smoke chuckles. “Brother, she called you a coward, you ranted, she left, you yelled at her to get back, she ignored you—same fucking thing.”

Grudge winces. “You don’t do shit like that to women you like.”

I look at Grudge. “When did you all turn into fucking relationship experts? I’m closer to winning an Olympic gold medal in pole vault then any of you are to being in one.”

Grudge raises his hands. “You’re shooting the messenger. But for what it’s worth, the trail’s really slippery with all the rain. I’m worried she’s gonna hurt herself.”

Catfish sighs. “I’ll go pick her up in my truck and give her a ride into town.”

It doesn’t help that he stands and rearranges his junk in his jeans before he wiggles his knees so his jeans fall properly over his boots.

Isn’t this what I offered her? A ride from a virtual stranger because I was too fucking scared to do it myself.

I’m clearly not the one who struggles with a one-night stand, but I’ll leave anyway, seeing as you don’t have the emotional range or maturity to handle one.

I let out a breath, and Smoke slaps me on the shoulder. “You’re not really going to let the guy who’s fucked half this town go after Raven, are you?”

“She’s not for me.”

Smoke laughs. Like, full-on belly laughs. “Oh, fuck. This is going to be like one of those TV shows. It’s gonna be two seasons longer than it needs to be because Wraith won’t use his grown-up words and talk feelings.”

“It was one fucking night,” I say, exasperated.

Atom comes to stand on the other side of me. “If it was one fucking night, you wouldn’t be standing here this messed up about it. You’d have thrown a punch at one of us, and we’dalready be laughing about it. Plus, Catfish was saying last night that it would be fun to try and break a small woman like Raven.”

I watch Catfish head for the door, daring myself to just let him go after Raven. But I can’t.

“Motherfucker,” I curse, checking my keys are in my pocket as I head out into the rain. Laughter follows me.

Catfish stumbles back when I yank on the collar of his leather jacket. Rain pounds on the two of us.

“What the fuck, brother?”

“You keep your fucking hands, eyes, and thoughts off Raven,” I shout.

He grins. “If you were taking care of her, it would be my pleasure. She ain’t yours, though, right?”

The punch I land on his face is lubricated by the rain. My fist glances off his cheek; it doesn’t remove the smile from his face.

“It’s an interesting turn, watching you lose your shit over a woman you barely know.” At that, he turns and walks into the clubhouse.

I look up at the sky for a minute. He’s right. Everything I’m feeling seems overplayed and out of proportion. I don’t understand it.

I’m losing my mind over one night with Raven, and that can’t be a good thing.

My truck roars to life beneath my feet, shaking the floor. Yet it does little to settle the thoughts in my head about what I’m gonna say to the pint-sized stubborn-ass woman stomping away from the clubhouse.

When I finally spot her bright yellow raincoat and black hair halfway towards our security gate, unexpected protectiveness swirls around in my chest. I don’t want her walking home in the rain, being out on her own and exposed like this.

I don’t like being judged by other men for the way I treat my woman…not that she’s my fucking woman.

And the turmoil starts all over again.

If she can hear my truck, she doesn’t look back. But she does pause, putting a hand to her brow to stop the sun fighting behind the rain from blinding her. I see her shoulders rise and fall, as if she took a deep breath.

And then I notice the giant rainbow she’s looking at that reaches from the mountains down to the lower pasture.

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