Page 52 of The Grief We Hold

“Love the way you’re taking me, Blue,” I say against her lips.

“I feel so full,” she replies.

Her words fuel my ego. I roll the two of us so that I’m on my back and she’s on top.

“Axel,” she cries, placing her palms on my chest.

“Ride me, Raven. Show me how you want to fuck me.”

She leans forward a little, and I notice she’s biting down on her lower lip. Narrow concentration lines form between her eyes.

It tugs at my dominant side as she balances her fears with my needs.

“Hey.” I cup her face. “You can’t do this wrong. Whatever makes it feel good for you is enough for me.” I tug her lip from her teeth with my thumb.

“I’m out of practice,” she admits quietly.

Fuck, if I don’t want to just scoop her up and hold her tight. Instead, I glance between us. “Doesn’t feel like it to me.” I sit up and wiggle us both back so I’m up against the pillows. We’re so close, I feel her nipples against my chest.

I place my hands on her hips and take over her movements. She’s small, so it’s easy. Her face is so expressive, I can tell with every adjustment I make whether it works for her or not. Riding, no. Grinding, yes.

Her head falls back as it starts to feel good for her. The layer of control she clung to slips out of reach. Her hands sneak around the back of my neck, holding us so our lips touch as we fight for breath.

I run my thumbs over the dimples at the base of her spine, completely lost in this woman’s body. Unable to resist, I bite down on her shoulder hard.

And it’s enough to send Raven over the edge.

Her forehead drops to my shoulder as she cries out.

The feel of her cunt squeezing the life out of me is more than I can handle, and I come with her in desperate pulses. Each one more powerful than the last.

I don’t want them to end.

I don’t wantthisto end.

“Blue,” I bark hoarsely.

I rub my palms over her back, her ass, then squeeze her to me. Our bodies are drenched in sweat, but I don’t want to change that. I just want to hold her.

Our breaths slow, and the room grows cool.

My head spins, and I know my world just changed irrevocably.

“Hate to move you, sweetheart, because I like the way you’re sitting right now. But both of us need me to go deal with this condom.”

Raven lifts her head. She looks so cute and sexy. Almost fuck drunk. In a tender move, she kisses the very corner of my mouth, then lifts off me.

It takes a few minutes for us both to use the bathroom, but when we settle back in bed, I feel an overwhelming sense of peace.

Her body fits perfectly against me as she lays her head on my shoulder and I wrap my arms around her, and in minutes we’re both fast asleep.

But, in the cold light of day, as sunlight creeps in around the edges of the drapes, I can see what a selfish fuck I’ve been. Hallie doesn’t deserve me fucking away her memory in the bed we used to share. And Raven deserves better than some guy who used her in the moment, but in the morning is still thinking about the wife he loved.

And yet, there’s also a reason I’ve being lying here in the half-light with Raven in my arms. Because it feels so fucking good. As soon as I leave this bed, it’s over, and while I’m not ready for that, I know I need to move before she wakes.

So, I force myself to slip my arm from beneath Raven’s perfect body and quietly shift to the far side of the bed.

My head’s a mess of thoughts as I sneak from beneath the covers and silently collect clothes before disappearing into the bathroom. Once the lockdown ends, I’ll ask Smoke to give Raven a ride home.

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