Page 36 of The Grief We Hold

While I don’t want to get involved in another violent life, I can’t ignore the way his fingers feel as they brush over mine.

“Thanks,” he says. His eyes close as he takes a sip. “You make good coffee, Blue.”

Compliments have been rare in my life, so I soak this one up like dry earth exposed to water.

“My dad always thought so.” Thinking of him stings a little. We agreed I wouldn’t be in touch for a while. “Did you ask the Dobsons if it was okay to do this? I don’t want to get in trouble.”

Wraith smiles and puts his cup down on the first step of the stairs. “Got the fixings from his store. He covered the cost of them.”

“Oh, good.”

He rips open the packaging containing the new lock. “Take a seat on the stairs. I got some questions for you.”

It would be rude to refuse, given he’s doing me a favor. “What kind of questions?”

Wraith busies himself taking screws out of the old lock. “Heard you and Fen earlier. Bruises. And you just said this place is safety to you. You in some kind of trouble?”

I wish I’d brought myself a cup of coffee because I suddenly feel cold. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Yeah, well, my club keeps the peace in this town. If trouble’s coming, I’d rather be on the lookout for it.”

“Oh, you’re concerned about the town. For a heartbeat I thought you were worried about Fen and me.”

He stops screwing for a second, then continues. “Same thing.”

I watch his back as he works while I try to piece together an answer. But his hair is tied up in a messy bun and I keep looking at his curls with envy. His hands are utterly competent; his forearms covered in ink are…distracting.

There are dates, crosses, and roses. A part of me wants to ask what they mean, but if I had to guess, I’d think they were connected to the lifestyle he lives.

“Trouble isn’t going to find me here. I just want to keep my head down and find some peace.”

He glances over his shoulder at me. “The problem with a small town like this is that everyone knows everyone else’s business. You’re the new woman in town. Working at Ma’s diner. A popular spot. Folks know the new girl is living above the hardware store.” He returns to removing the old lock. “Some stranger comes looking for you, waving a picture around, people can confuse causing trouble with being helpful. Next thing you know, he’s knocking on this door because people know you live here.”

“I’m thinking of leaving,” I admit.

“Him or here?”

“Both?” I don’t know why it sounds like a question. “Although, technically, I already left him.”

Wraith wrangles the lock out. “After I lugged that fucking dresser up the stairs?”

I don’t know why, but I laugh. “Sorry, this whole situation isn’t funny, but something about the way you suggested I should stay here for a dresser…” I laugh again.

But Wraith puts the lock on the floor, crouches in front of me, and touches my knees. His palms are warm through my denim. “Don’t leave.”

“Why?”

“Because I would have gone to the ends of the earth to find my wife. And if you married a man as determined as me, he isn’t going to let you go easily. Especially since that’s his kid upstairs.”

There is so much to process in his words.

I would have gone to the ends of the earth for my wife.

Past tense.

And I did marry a man like Wraith.

Or did I? I suppose they are both criminally minded. Only my husband leftmeand hasn’t contacted me at all. He isn’t looking for me, in fact, I’d guess he was glad to be rid of me.

---