Page 129 of The Grief We Hold

“Thanks.”

The club coming to help is a flicker of hope in overwhelming darkness. In this wide-open expanse, there aren’t a lot of places to hide. There is no washing machine to crouch behind and no clean bedding or dirty clothes to pull over my head.

We fly down the country roads, leaning into bends as we turn, hugging the line where we can. Things begin to blur.

A loudtingprecedes the back of the bike sliding out.

It takes a second for it to register as a gunshot while Wraith fights to regain control.

“Fuckers,” Wraith says.

I bury my head against Wraith’s back, very aware that I’m his shield and the next bullet could hit me. “Let me see my son again,” I whisper.

“You will,” Wraith says. “We’re going into the field up ahead. There are some outbuildings we can hide out in, but I need you to do exactly as I say.”

“Wraith, I’m scared.” Fen is losing a father; he can’t afford to lose his mother too.

“I know. But trust me. I promise I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

41

WRAITH

The weight of her words crushes my ribs.

Let me see my son again.

I’ve said a similar prayer many times since I lost Hallie and Lottie.

But now, two people need me. Raven, to love her for the rest of her life. And Fen, to love as my own, to help raise into an adult he can feel proud to be.

And no one is taking my future from me again.

I refuse to let them. Even if that means I have to deal with them alone in the event the club doesn’t make it here by the time I face that fate.

Raven is doing her best to keep it together. I’m proud of her efforts, but I can feel the stress in her body as she clings to me and stiffens.

“You’re doing great, Blue,” I say. “Relax with me when we go into the bends in the road.”

“I’m trying, but I keep seeing the way Fen sticks his tongue out while thinking. How his hair is always so sweaty at the back of his neck when he wakes up in the morning. That the legs ofhis pants looked a little short today.” Her voice wavers on every word.

If my brothers were here, we’d be laughing about what was happening. Taking bets on who was gonna get shot this time. While I can’t do that to Raven, I can bring normalcy in the chaos.

“I’ll take him shopping on the weekend for some new ones. Wanted to grab him his own fishing rod anyway.”

The wing mirror shatters, a bullet blowing it off its hook and shaking the whole steering system. The handlebars twitch; the wheel slips.

The bike careens like I’m gonna go straight into the fence. I fight to wrangle her back under control and swear my knee skims within a hair’s breadth of the fence post.

“Wraith!” Raven cries, and I’m gonna fucking kill the motherfuckers for putting that fear in her voice.

“Try to breathe, sweetheart. We’re gonna have to run when we get there.”

“I need a weapon,” she says suddenly. “A gun. I can fire back at them.”

“It’ll be impossible to hit them until we’re all stationary,” I say.

“I can’t just be a bystander in this, Wraith. Not like last time when I hid. I need to know that this time I can fight.”

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