Page 181 of From Now On

Privately, I share Lois’s concern. Landon works full-time at an advertising agency based out of Portland, and he’s also chasing a music career. His dream is to make a living off music alone. I admire his dedication and hustle, but they’ve come at a cost. All dreams do, maybe.

A hand lands on my lower back a second after Landon’s expression carefully smooths. He clears his throat. “Hey, Conor. Congrats on the, uh, rink.”

“Thanks,” Conor responds. “Nice of you to come, Landon.”

Stiff pleasantries are a definite improvement from former antagonism, but you’d never guess the two men standing next to me were brothers. We don’t see the Garrisons very often—once or twice a year, at most—and my phone conversations with them rarely include Conor. I tend to call when he’s on the road. And, even setting aside their troubled history, Landon and Conor are just…different. Different interests, different personalities, different dreams.

Conor achieved his. Landon hasn’t. And I can be happy for my husband and sad for my best friend, but I wish they could be happy and sad for each other, too.

Conor says hello to Hugh and Allison, and then the university president and the athletic director arrive for the start of the ceremony. More people trickle in, carrying the noise from the lobby into the rink. I end up seated in the front row, on the aisle and next to Anna.

I miss most of the introductory remarks, focused on Conor instead. He’s leaning against the boards behind the other speakers, appearing concentrated on the ceremony, but I catch him fiddling with the folded paper he’s holding or smoothing his tie a couple of times.

Finally, it’s his turn to walk up to the lectern. He didn’t let me read his speech in advance, but he did ask if I was okay with him mentioning the pregnancy. Considering I’ve been stressing about how to announce the news—what order to share it in, mostly—it was a relief to know I wouldn’t have to prioritize. All of our family and closest friends will find out at once.

But now that the moment has arrived, I’m nervous. I can’t imagine how Conor is feeling.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” he begins. “I wrote a speech, but I’m a little at a loss for words right now. Being here… Being back on this campus, standing in a building with my name on it, is pretty surreal. I’ve spent a lot of hours in a lot of rinks. But being inside one named after me is a first.”

Quiet laughter echoes around me.

“I want to thank all the Holt coaching staff, especially Coach Keller, who were such an important part of my college career. I wouldn’t be here without your guidance, encouragement, and belief in me. And to my teammates: You guys showed up every single game, and it means a lot that you showed up again today. Hockey is a team sport. Any success I had while wearing a Holtjersey was because of who else was in the locker room with me. And I wouldn’t have wanted to win that trophy with anyone else.”

“Hear, hear!” Aidan calls out, prompting more laughter.

“I also owe a big thank-you to my family and friends. Phillips and Morgan—you’ve always been so much more than teammates. You’re my brothers off the ice. Mom, the sacrifices you’ve made for me—driving me to early morning practices, buying bags of equipment, sitting in cold rinks on your few days off—I wouldn’t be here without you.”

Anna sniffles from her spot next to me. I slip her one of the tissues from the pack I brought, and she whispers, “Thanks.”

“I hope the next time I visit, there will be three banners hanging from the ceiling,” Conor continues. “No pressure, Coach.” He smiles. “People often assume that playing professionally has been the pinnacle of my career. And I feel really fortunate to call hockey my job. But my favorite hockey memories are from when I was part of this program. Holt is where I became the player—the person—I am today. I’m glad I could be part of that legacy continuing for a new generation of hockey players in a place that means so much not only to me, but also to my wife, Harlow. The next time we visit, we’ll get to show my son or daughter this special place, and I can’t imagine a greater accomplishment than that. Thank you, everyone, for being here today.”

There’s a beat of surprised silence, a few whispers, and then applause erupts around me.

Leaning against the scuffed bar top in Gaffney’s prompts an extreme case of déjà vu. Mostly because this place hasn’tchanged at all. It looks exactly the same as I remember from college. It’s like stepping back in time. Returning to a former lifetime.

This was the obvious destination for a more casual celebration of the new rink after the ceremony. We split up so everyone had a chance to change—I’m back in my trusty sneakers—and reunited here for drinks and dinner.

My gaze settles on a group at the other end of the bar. I don’t glance away until Landon appears next to me.

“Debating what to get?” he asks.

My eyes return to the same spot. “No. I was looking at that.”

Landon follows my focus to where Anna, Logan, Hugh, and Allison are all standing and talking. “Not a sight I ever expected to see,” he admits.

“But nice, right?”

He nods.

I bump my shoulder against his. “When’s your Florida trip happening? We have open mic nights in Tampa, you know.”

For years, I’ve been asking Landon to come visit. He’s been putting me off—for years.

“Dunno,” he replies, looking away from his parents and at the bottles lining the shelves behind the bar instead. “Flights are expensive.”

“You know we’d pay.”

“You know I wouldn’t let you. I’ll look at a calendar. Maybe this fall.”

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