Page 155 of From Now On

“Sean?” I question.

“Yeah. The last time we talked. It was this endless cycle, it seemed like, and I thought that maybe me cutting him off mighthelp. Like talking to me meant something and stopping might be some type of wake-up call.” He scoffs. “As if.”

“He’s sick, Hunter. Addiction is a disease. And it’s not because of anything you did or didn’t do. You were trying to help him. And deep down, he knows that.”

Hunter lifts his chin and tilts mine up. His blue eyes scan my face like he’s never seen it before.

“You look beautiful, Eve.”

I changed out of the dress I was wearing for the dinner after Conor showed up without Hunter. But I didn’t touch my hair or makeup, because both took a while.

“Thanks,” I whisper.

The kiss starts out sweet. Gentle and purposeful and safe. Then, something shifts. It becomes more raw. Less disciplined.

Tension hums through Hunter’s rigid muscles.

He’s holding back, I realize.

Has he always held back?

When we’ve had sex, it’s been a perfectly choreographed dance. I’ve followed his lead, and each step has felt completely right. Even the times I’ve initiated intimacy, he’s seized control in some way.

It doesn’t seem like Hunter is following a plan right now. Part of his world was just upended, and he’s still reeling. Still coming to terms with how close he came to losing his brother.

He came here for comfort, and he’s never sought me out in that way before. When he told me about Sean, it was because we were already together when his brother called. And with everything else, he’s sosolid. Disciplined and capable. He’s the person you go to for help, not the one who seeks it out.

“I’m not breakable,” I whisper, running my palms down the sculpted planes of his chest. Even through the starched cotton of his button-down, I can feel the energy buzzing beneath tautskin. “You can be rough. You can lean on me. I’m not going anywhere.”

I mean the last part in the emotional sense, not the physical one. Because I am going somewhere, and he is too.

A topic we’ve avoided talking about, aside from his decision about Penn.

Amidst all the big and scary feelings I have for Hunter, discussing our lives after graduation feels especially big and scary. I molded most of my relationship with Ben around the future. I was attracted to his interest in living in New York, to the joint life I saw there together.

With Hunter, it doesn’t feel like a factor. I never expected—thought—that we would end up in the same place post-graduation.

And I fell in love with him anyway.

I’m in love with him.

Hunter exhales, and a little of the tension releases too. “I didn’t come here for sex, Eve.”

My right hand moves lower. “You’re hard.”

“Well, yeah.” His voice is rough. “Happens a lot around you. Especially when I’m kissing you.”

His lips land on mine again.

This time, it doesn’t start out sweet. Immediately, there’s the same unrestrained intensity.

I kiss him back just as passionately, to the soundtrack of my racing heart and ragged breaths.

I’ve never felt less in control. It’s thrilling…and terrifying. It feels like Iamfalling.

His hand settles on the waistband of my shorts, then slips inside.

“Fuck, Eve. You’re so wet.”

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