Page 135 of From Now On

I clear my throat. “Have you ever gotten something you really wanted? I mean,reallywanted? Not a good grade or a pair of new skates, but something super important. Life-changing. Or, gotten close to getting it, and realized how scary actually getting it would be? Like, you wanted it, but you also liked wanting it because as long as you didn’t have it, you could never lose it? Did that make any sense?”

He glances up at the banner. “Yes.”

“I’m not talking about hockey.”

“I’m not either, Morgan.”

“Oh. Right. Well, she?—”

Coach’s expression doesn’t change when I let the pronoun slip. “Go on.”

“She might—she might finally be mine. And I always thought if there was ever an opening, I’d have the balls to make a move. But now I’m…sort of…choking.”

“Because you’re scared of losing her?”

I nod.

He sighs. “I’m a hockey coach, Morgan, not a relationship expert. But the way I see it, if you don’t fight, you’ll definitely lose her. And if you do fight, you might lose her or you might not. Which odds do you want?”

“I’m not much of a gambler.”

Which Coach knows, after coaching me for four years. I pick the reliable play over the risky one, every time.

Coach looks up at the banner again. “Winning that championship was the third best day of my life. Second best was when I married my wife. And the top spot will always be getting to hold my little girl for the first time. Most terrified I’ve ever been in my life.” He tugs the brim of his Holt Hockey cap lower. “Do you know how I found out my daughter was dating one of my players?”

“Uh…”

Is this a trick question? Discussing the morning we discovered Aidan had snuck into our coach’s daughter’s room was high on my topics to never bring up with Coach Keller.

“Phillips was never a rule follower. But he wanted that win for Hart. If I’d found out about him and Rylan any other way, I would have doubted his intentions. I would have smelled the bullshit of him showing up in a tie on my doorstep asking permission to date my daughter a mile away. But him jeopardizing the entire team? That made a damn impression. Opportunities don’t fall into your lap, Morgan. You have to make them happen.”

“So, you’re telling me to go for it?”

“I’m saying you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don’t take, Hunter.”

His use of my first name draws me up short. Coach always calls us by our last names. I wasn’t even sure heknewmy first name.

He’s right.

I want Eve; there’s no question about that. And I hope she feels the same way about me, but it won’t change how I feel. I have nothing to lose, except my heart, and I think I already handed that over to her.

“Thanks, Coach,” I say.

He nods. “Good luck, Morgan. I’ll see you at the dinner.”

I nod back, pretending like I hadn’t totally forgotten about that. When he turns to leave, I add, “Coach?”

He glances back, one eyebrow raised. “Yes?”

“Aidan is one of the best people I know. He would die for her. I know she’s your daughter, but if you’re worried…don’t be.”

Coach chuckles a little. “You’re a good man, Morgan.”

I watch him head for the lobby that serves as the rink’s main exit. For some reason, this moment feels like the end of hockey. I thought it would be raising the championship trophy after that final game. But that was a team event. A celebration, mostly, because we won. This, talking to Coach in an empty rink, felt more final.

I skate slowly to the door that leads to the tunnel. Back in the locker room, I shower and change for the second time today. Before leaving, I also empty out my locker, shoving all the gear and clothing into my hockey bag.

I don’t know the exact date they’re melting the ice, but I know it’s coming up soon. And this should get washed anyway.

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