Page 91 of From Now On

“Hunter! That isincredible. Wow! Congratulations, honey.He got in everywhere he applied,” I hear her whisper to my dad. “Your dad says congratulations too. Oh, Hunter, we’resoproud of you.”

I have to clear my throat before I can speak. “Thanks, Mom. Tell Dad thanks too.”

It feels really good to make my parents proud. Yet I can’t help but think mine is the second college graduation they should be attending. Sean had offers, before everything careened out of control. In comparison to him, anything I achieve looks impressive.

“Do you know what one you’re picking?”

She asks the question so easily. So simply, like thereshouldbe a choice.

“No.” I lean back in the chair, bouncing my knee. “I just… I kinda wish I hadn’t applied to so many places. Having so many options…I’m not sure where to go.”

“Is there an advisor you can talk to?”

“Yeah, I’m meeting with him tomorrow to go over the options. From an academic perspective. But I—I’m also picking the place I’ll live for the next two years.”

“You’re young, honey. Wherever you end up, it’ll be a new experience. Hopefully a good one, but if not, it’s only two years. Think about how quickly college has gone by, and that was twice as long.”

“Yeah.” I pause. “UW would be a little familiar.”

“Hunter. I know very little about political science programs. But I do know UW is not the most competitive program on that list.”

“Rankings aren’t everything, Mom.”

But they do matter. Competitive schools attract top professors and lead to opportunities and connections that other universities can’t provide.

“Honey, your dad and I will support whatever you decide. But make sure you’re deciding foryou, not anyone else.”

“I feel like I should be close to home, with everything that’s going on with Sean again,” I confess.

It feels good to say it aloud. It’s still a weight, but it’s a little less suffocating.

My mom exhales. “I’m not going to lie to you, Hunter. Things with your brother are…hard. We’ve gone through the same cycle so many times it’s starting to feel like an endless loop. But you being closer to home won’t change that. In fact, it would only make things harder for me and your father, knowing that you shrunk your dreams. And if Sean were in a better place, he’d tell you the same thing. Make sure you’re considering all that too, all right?”

“Yeah, I will.”

I know Professor Hayden isn’t going to suggest I choose UW during our meeting tomorrow. And…part of me doesn’t want to pick UW for the same reason I feel like I should.

I don’t know where the line is when I let Sean go. I could block his number, prevent him from calling me. Cut off all contact. Snip all ties. He’s isolated himself from our family in nearly every way. Even during the rare stretches of sobriety, the easy dynamic that characterized my childhood is gone. It’s awkward, being around my brother. We don’t banter or share any inside jokes. It’s stiff.

Sean’s made his choices, and maybe I’ve reached my limit on allowing his to affect mine.

“I have to get back to the classroom,” my mom says. “Let us know how your meeting with your advisor goes, okay?”

“Yeah, I will. Love you, Mom. Say bye to Dad.”

“I will. And I love you too, Hunter.”

I end the call and take another bite of my turkey wrap. Conor enters the kitchen while I’m chewing.

“Hey,” he greets, dropping his backpack on the floor with a heavy thump.

I swallow. “Hey. You done with classes for the day?”

Hart scoffs. “I can’t believe you haven’t memorized my class schedule yet, Morgan. It’s on the damn fridge.”

I roll my eyes. I know Conor found Aidan’s insistence we all post our schedules on the fridge as silly as I did, but I can’t deny that it has come in handy before. Saves a text.

“Yeah, I’m done for the day,” he continues. “Came home for some food, and then I’m headed to Harlow’s to study.”