Page 164 of From Now On

Love,

Dad

I stare at the card. My eyes burn, but no tears form. Almost like I want to cry, but I’m not sure if I should.

I just decided what my dad’s role would be in my life—nonexistent—and then he had to go and do this.

When I glance up, my mom’s staring at me sympathetically. The conflict must be clear on my face.

“He was really hot in high school, honey.”

A surprised laugh bursts out. My mom has never talked much about her relationship with my dad. All I know is it was brief and ended badly.

“And I wouldn’t change a thing, Evelyn.” She reaches out and squeezes the hand that’s not holding my dad’s card. “He might have been a terrible father, but he’s not a terrible person. I got that much right, at least.”

I squeeze back. “You got a lot right, Mom.”

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

HUNTER

My mom looks…nervous when she opens the door to the hotel room. But her smile is warm as she pulls me in for a hug, holding on for longer than usual. I know it’s not just because I haven’t seen her since January. It’s because life feels extra fragile lately.

“It’s so good to see you, Hunter.”

“You too,” I say, releasing her and walking deeper into the room. “How was the drive?—”

I stop talking as soon as I see Sean sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Don’t worry,” he drawls. “I have my own room.”

My brother looks awful.

He stopped by for Christmas dinner in December, since it was during one of his sober phases. That was the last time I saw him in person, and it seems like a lot longer than six months ago. Sean’s about twenty pounds skinnier than he was then. His head is shaved, emphasizing the gauntness of his face and the dark circles under his eyes. He looks a lot older than twenty-four.

“Sean decided he was up for the drive,” my mom says. Her voice is full of false cheer that sounds spread thin.

She knows Sean and I haven’t talked since his overdose. Knows he’s been avoiding me.

My brother stands, cracking his knuckles.

I’m taller than him by a couple of inches. I remember the day I hit his height being one of the greatest days of my life. Finally looking the guy I’d looked up to all my life in the eyes.

“Yeah,” Sean says. “Sitting in the car for seventeen hoursreallytakes it out of you.”

“Sean,” Mom chastises softly.

“Guess you still have your sense of sarcasm,” I say.

“Yeah. Guess so.”

We stare at each other, two brothers acting like strangers. Love and anger are battling inside of me. That frantic hour when I was terrified I’d never see my brother again is fresh in my memory, reminding me how short and tenuous life is.

But I’m also somadat him. For putting me—and our parents—through that after everything else he’s already put us through. And for not answering a single fucking call since it happened.

Sean rubs at his jaw. The last time I saw him, he had an unkempt beard. He’s completely clean-shaven now. “Wanna go for a drive?”

“A drive?”

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