Page 4 of False God

I wasn’t a fan of this place when Cal and I were dating, but it’s even less appealing since we broke up. At least I know he’s not here today, or Lexington would be out on the field instead of standing in his stall.

“Did you have a paloma? How many marriage proposals …” Chloe’s voice trails awkwardly, followed by a cough that our friendship of twenty years tells me is fake.

“They’re overdoing it on the grapefruit juice this year,” I tell her. “It’s a true travesty.”

She huffs a laugh. “I’m trying to be sensitive, Lili.”

“Don’t be. I’m fine.”

A pause.

“Is Cal there?”

“No. Even if he were, I’d still be fine. And stop avoiding talking about marriage around me. He never proposed.”

Another pause.

“He would have.”

I know Chloe’s right, so I don’t bother arguing.

“How’s engaged life?” I ask instead.

Another pause as Chloe attempts to gauge my true feelings about the topic from over three thousand miles away.

“Wow. That bad?” I tease.

“No. It’s good.” I can hear the smile in her voice as she adds, “It’s really good.”

A pang hits right in the center of my chest. Not the excited thrill I felt around Charlie. A what-if. A second-guess. A wondering if I chose wrong.

“Good.”

Chloe moved to England to attend the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art. Her program ended in the spring, but she’s staying in London with her new fiancé, Theo. Their wedding is set for next July.

Honestly, I’m more bummed about Chloe’s temporary relocation becoming a permanent move than I am about recovering from a breakup while she’s celebrating her engagement.

“How is the Davis project going?” Chloe asks.

“It’s fine. I’ll send some photos of the topiary. And before you ask, no, I still haven’t seen Christian. Katie said that he’s away on location for a new film.”

“What film?” Chloe questions eagerly. “The new Martinez action thriller?”

Ever since Chloe learned that the wife of one of her favorite Hollywood actors had hired me to redesign the grounds of their mansion in Montecito, she’s been badgering me for more details. The only reason I took the project in the first placewas that relocating for a few months sounded like a good idea after ending a two-year relationship. A chance to recalibrate and refresh. To swap bustle and blacktop for sprawl and sunshine. Aunt Hannah’s brother, Eddie, taught me how to surf, and I had weekly dinners with my parents. All great distractions, until I returned to New York.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask.”

Chloe groans in exasperation.

She’s so dramatic. Theater is definitely her calling.

“What were you going to do?” I ask. “Show up on set in a trench coat? He’s married. You’re engaged.”

“It’s aboutfeeding the fantasy, Lili. Remember crushes? A vivid imagination is healthy. Just because it’s unlikely I’ll ever meet Christian Davis doesn’t mean I can’t think about touching his abs between takes in Belarus—or wherever the hell he’s shooting.”

I laugh, shaking my head even though she can’t see me. “If it comes up again, I’ll ask, okay?”

“Thank you.”

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