Page 83 of Come Break My Heart Again

I feel the burn of embarrassment this time. I don’t swear very often, so I usually feel like a fraud when I do. I’m not the sexy, mysterious bad girl I always assumed was Ryder’s type. The most rebellious thing I’ve ever done was having sex with him at the end of our freshman year. Notthatrebellious since I never told anyone it happened.

And I’m used to rejecting advances from guys, not begging for them.

Ryder still looks uncertain, even as his erection thickens in my tight grip.

I don’t regret not sleeping with Archer. But his fixation on sex makes Ryder’s behavior more confusing. Am I actingtooeager? Why can’t Ryder act like a normal teenage guy when it comes to sex? When it comes to anything?

This moment, which started out feeling so soft and special, is slipping away. Shifting into something cheap and empty. Making me feel vain.

Not every guy wants you, Elle.

Not enough at least.

“All right then,” I say, withdrawing my hand from his shorts and sitting up as much as the small space will allow. Somehow, I forgot we were in a car in a garage. That’s how much power Ryder has over me. Yeah, it’s thrilling. It’s also terrifying. “Not like I can’t get it somewhere else.”

Ryder’s expression hardens and darkens. “If you wanted it somewhere else, you wouldn’t be in my lap, rubbing your pussy all over my dick.”

I swallow hard, the filthy words and flinty tone captivating me the same way his tenderness does.

Yeah, we’re older.

His hand moves to cup the place where I’m empty and aching. “Seems like you’re here because those rich assholes can’t satisfy you.”

“What makes you think I wasn’t hooking up with Twos while you were gone?” I snap.

Ryder rolls his eyes. “Because I would have heard about it.”

“How do you know?” I ask. “Youdidn’t say anything.”

A muscle jumps in his jaw. “Neither did you.”

“Because youleft, Ryder. What was I supposed to tell people?No, I don’t know why Ryder James mysteriously disappeared. But before he did, we used to kiss a lot.Yeah, that’s exactly what I want everyone knowing. You took off and moved on like I was just a toy you got sick of playing with.”

Ryder looks away. “I thought you wanted us to be a secret.”

He made me forget we were sitting in a car again.

My molars grind when I recall our exact position. I’m still worked up and turned on. Combined with the confusion and sting of rejection, I’m so frustrated, I could scream.

I blow out a breath, then fumble with the door handle, almost falling flat on my ass when it gives way. I right myself quickly, forgetting I’m barefoot until I feel the cool concrete.

I round the front of the car as quickly as I can without actually running, grabbing my shoes out of the footwell and then slamming the door shut. Ryder has emerged from the car, his arms spread across the car’s roof and open door in a deceptively casual position. Or maybe he really is that unbothered. We fought plenty when we were fourteen and fifteen.

“You’re leaving?” he asks.

I avoid looking toward the low rumble of his voice as I slip my shoes back on, trying not to think about what the large, dark stain on the concrete is. I’ll shower and scrub my feet when I get home.

Ryder sighs. “Lo …”

“Don’t call me that.”

“You just told metocall you that.”

My cheeks burn with the reminder. “I changed my mind.”

“Just about that?”

“If you think I’m having sex with you now, you’re crazy. That was a limited-time offer.”

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