Page 187 of Come Break My Heart Again

Like now, her hand is dangerously close to my dick under the table.

“Don’t you dare,” I murmur to her.

“You’d be less nervous about your speech.”

I’d also be wondering if anyone could see the wet spot in my pants for the rest of the night. At my best friend’s wedding, an event her parents and my mom are attending.

I lean over to kiss her shoulder. “Later.”

The first dance ends, and everyone claps. Uniformed waiters start to move through the room, carrying trays covered withglasses of champagne and different appetizers. Hopefully, Tuck had some input on the menu. I didn’tdislikethe food at The Franklin when Elle and I ate there, but Keira and I definitely have different culinary tastes.

People stand and start to mingle. The band is still playing, and some other couples are dancing now that Keira and Tuck have cleared the floor.

I talk to a few of the guys from the construction crew, plus some familiar faces from high school, then ask my mom to dance.

She protests, saying I should dance with Elle if I have “happy feet,” but gives up the closer we get to the dance floor. I promise her I will dance with Elle later.

“What a beautiful wedding,” she says, looking around the ballroom at the flower arrangements and the twinkling lights.

“It is,” I agree. “Do you ever regret not having one?”

She never married my dad. Or Cormac’s. Gave both of us her last name instead.

“Regret? No. If I had gotten married, it would have been a mistake.”

“Because you don’t believe in it?”

“Because I do. You get married when you’re sure it’s going to work out. Not because you’re not sure if it will. It’s not a repair or a solution.”

“I’m not sure when I’ll ask Elle,” I say. “I don’t know if she’s ready, if I am. I don’t know where we’ll live … what I’ll do for work …”

“It’s okay, Ry. It’s enough for me, seeing you like this.” My mom glances at her table, where Cormac is sitting with Brynn. He has one arm slung around the back of her chair as he sips at champagne. “Seeing both you boys happy—that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“I want you to be there.” The words are soft, a statement I’m not sure I should share with her. It alludes to the dark cloud I want to pretend doesn’t exist today.

For the most part, I’ve abided by her wishes. I’ve stopped suggesting treatment. Stopped asking questions after her doctor’s appointments. I go with her and sit in the waiting room, and then we leave. Sometimes, we stop for lunch somewhere. Once, we drove into Boston to visit Cormac on campus.

She squeezes my shoulder. “I will be, Ryder. No matter what, I’ll be there.”

My throat is too thick to say anything else. We sway until the song ends, and then I walk my mom back to her table. We pass Reese, who’s dancing with Keira’s older brother. I raise my eyebrows at her, and she smiles at me.

I guess she’s over her aversion to Ones. Or maybe it just helps if they’re male and good-looking.

After leaving my mom at her table, I grab some food and talk to Tuck’s dad for a while. He’s full of praise about the Warren house project, boasting that Tuck is going to sell the place for several million. I’m no real estate agent, but I hope he’s right. We’ve never talked about it, but I’d be shocked if Tuck has never thought about the same financial disparity with Keira that I’m aware of with Elle.

Not that you need to each have the same amount of money to be in a relationship, but it’s a strange balance when it’s so lopsided. It comes up at random times, whenever you see a movie or get ice cream or go out to dinner. It’s always a conversation.

After talking with Tuck’s dad, I head back to my table. Tuck intercepts me midway, giving me a huge hug. I’ve seen him since the ceremony, but there were tons of other people around. The rest of the wedding party, photographers, family members. This is the first moment we’ve had, just the two of us.

“So?” I ask. “How does it feel?”

Tuck’s grin is bigger than I’ve ever seen it. “Good, man. It feels really good.” He leans closer and whispers, “Can I tell you something?”

“Uh, sure?”

He snorts. “Reassuring. Anyway, Keira’s pregnant, and I’ve been terrified her folks were going to find out before the wedding. They’re stuck with me now, right?”

“Congrats, man. That’s awesome. And, yep, that’s great thinking with the in-laws. No way they’ll do the math.”

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