Page 178 of Come Break My Heart Again

“Can’t get enough of that couch, huh?” Tuck calls after me.

Reese’s and Keira’s laughter follows me inside.

Elle’s waiting, naked, when I slip back into her room. She rises up on her elbows when I shut the door, and I groan audibly at the view of her sprawled on the white sheets before ducking into the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” she calls out.

I grab her toothbrush off the sink, squeeze some toothpaste on it, and then step back into the bedroom.

“You’re using my toothbrush?”

“I forgot mine in the other bathroom. I’m not going to have morning breath while you taste like a Crest commercial. Besides…” I smirk. “We’re about to have sex, and you’re concerned about mouth germs?”

Elle doesn’t reply, just lies back down.

I scrub at my teeth as quickly as possible, spit, and glance in the mirror. God, I’m … nervous. Terrified this is going to get screwed up somehow. Whenever things go well in my life, it’s always been temporary. My dad left, or my mom moved us to live with a shitty boyfriend, or I got arrested. I’m scared to be happy, as sad and pathetic as that sounds. I wasn’t just protecting Elle, removing myself from her life. You can’t lose what you don’t have.

“Ryder?”

“Coming,” I reply, shoving away from the counter and walking back into the bedroom.

I pull off my T-shirt, step out of my shorts, and then slip into the warm heaven of smooth sheets and soft skin that smells like jasmine.

Elle rolls into me immediately, tangling our legs together. “Where’s Scout?”

“Keira and Tuck offered to watch him.”

“Meaning they saw you with him?”

“Yeah. You care that they know?”

Old insecurities flicker to the surface. Not just about the fact that I’m poor and she’s rich, or that she’s a lawyer and I’m an ex-con. Elle’s a good person, and I’ve done more than my share of destructive shit that speaks to the contrary. In nearly every way, we’re uneven.

“Of course not,” she answers before I can spiral too far. “I’m just going to have a lot of questions to answer later.”

“Youare? Tuck is the nosiest person I know.”

She giggles, her right hand landing on my chest and journeying south in a way that’sverydistracting. “You have more muscles.”

“Had a lot of time to work out.”

Her hand pauses, playing with the strip of hair that points straight at my dick. “I’ve never heard you … talk about it.”

“There’s not much to say,” I reply. “And then, other times, way too much.”

“I want to listen,” Elle whispers.

My immediate instinct is to push back. To tell her there’s no way I’m filling her head with the dark shit I saw and experienced. But then I look at her, focused on me with the most earnest, tentative expression I’ve ever seen.

I shut her out before. Long before I slammed the door closed on us, I was always so careful with how much I shared of my life. I gave herme, but I kept the rest of my world as separate as I could.

Elle’s tough. Stronger than most people give her credit for. I don’t know many people who would have stolen an ID to sneak into a state prison.

So, I say, “Okay,” and mean it.

Her smile is so wide that I feel like my heart is going to explode.

“Right now, I’d rather fuck you than talk to you though.”

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