Page 174 of Come Break My Heart Again

He stands so fast that I take an automatic step back. “Yeah.”

“Okay.”

I walk ahead of him, mindful of the curious stares following us. Ryder catches up to me after a few feet, but says nothing. We pass a few strangers, but it’s mostly an empty stretch of sand. Our group decided to skip the barbecue and concert downtown. I’m guessing that’s where most people are tonight.

The bonfire is barely a pinprick of light down the beach by the time I stop. If I were out here alone, I’d be nervous.

“Want to sit?” I suggest.

“Sure.”

“You’re really agreeable tonight,” I tell him. “It’s weird.”

One corner of his mouth lifts. “You want me to argue with you?”

“Sometimes.”

“Noted.” He takes a seat on the sand, close to the water, but not so near that there’s a risk of getting wet.

“Room there?” I point to the spot between his legs.

A flash of surprise appears. “Uh-huh.”

He widens the V, and I step into it before sinking down into the sand.

I lean back against his chest, and his arms wrap around me naturally.

I shiver, both from the cold and from the thrill of him touching me. His body heat soaks into me slowly, like a sponge meeting water.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

Ryder stiffens slightly, betraying the surprise I hear in his tone a second later. “For what?”

“I handled today … terribly. I wasn’t … I don’t …” I exhale. “Last night was a lot.”

I relax, so he’s supporting all of my weight. Rest my hands on his thighs and slide them down until they’re stretched straight, brushing his kneecaps.

“I know it was.”

“Not just that we didn’t use protection. That we had sex at all. It’d been a long time. For me.”

Ryder is silent, and I start to regret this choice of position. It would be nice to be able to see some of his face right now. Staring at the sea isn’t offering any insight into what he’s thinking.

“It’d been a long time for me too,” he finally says. “Surprised I lasted longer than thirty seconds.”

I smile even though he can’t see me. I want to be honest with him about this. I’m no longer scared of him knowing how much I care. “I’m talking about along time, Ryder. Like back when we were together.”

“I’m talking about that long too.”

I twist so I can see some of his face. Basically just his jaw, but better than nothing. “What?”

“I’ve never been with anyone but you.”

If possible, I’m even more shocked now. “What-what are you talking about?”

Ryder never said so, but I assumed he wasn’t a virgin our first time. He seemed so confident and experienced. And I figured there were lots of girls in Florida. Assumed one of the first things he did after getting out of prison was get laid.

“I never wanted anyone else,” he says. “Not the way I wanted you.”

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