Page 161 of Come Break My Heart Again

Ryder smirks. “By offering to drive one way again? You sucked down the margaritas at this place like they were water last time, Clarke.”

He’s goading me. Teasing me. I’m not sure why, and I’m enjoying it too much to analyze it right now. I’m at the edge of the cliff again, the thrill consuming.

I gasp. “The fuck I did.”

Had another guy mentioned the night I had a panic attack, I’d be a stiff board right now. But that’s Ryder’s magic. The effect he’s always had on me. He doesn’t wash the darkness away. But he changes the light. He makes the hard moments look brighter. Appear livable.

Keira and Tucker exchange a glance that reminds me that Ryder and I spent most of our happy moments as a couple alone.

“Give me the keys, Lo.” He steps closer, holding out a hand.

I grin. “No.”

“You’re already drunk, huh?”

I guess he’s close enough to smell my breath.

“I hadoneshot. And Keira made me.”

“Hey! Leave me out of this … drama.” Keira waves a hand between me and Ryder.

Her expression is alight with a feverish intrigue I know the source of. She’ll have more questions later.

When he wants to be, Ryder is electric. When I’m around him, I’m someone different.

“I’m driving, Elle. Give me the keys.”

His insistence sparks a memory. He’s only driven me around once before.

“How’d you get home that night?” I say. I’ve always wondered. Never asked. Gave up on getting answers.

Ryder stares at me. I can’t tell if he’s annoyed I’m bringing up the past or just taken aback.

“I walked,” he finally answers.

“That’s a long way to walk.”

“I had a lot to think about that night.”

I start toward the driver’s side.

Ryder heaves a sigh out. “Don’t hit anything.”

He gets in the passenger side while Keira and Tucker climb into the back seat.

“If I do, you can just fix it.”

“Haven’t done that in a while,” he says, some of the teasing leaving his tone.

I slant a glance in his direction before I start driving.

The garage where he worked in high school went out of business a few years ago. If it hadn’t, I think he’d be working there instead of in construction.

Ryder seems content to be a passenger now that we’re moving, and it confuses me even more. It’s almost like he picked a fight just to argue with me, and I have no idea what to make of that.

I suggest going to the same bar as last time, ignoring the concerned looks aimed my way. The worry is why I want to go back—to prove that I can.

Ryder agrees first, and Keira and Tucker follow his lead.

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