Page 155 of Come Break My Heart Again

Nina’s hand stalls midair, halfway to the teapot’s handle.

She’s asked who I’m dating over the years, but we’ve never discussed her romantic past. Either of her sons’ fathers. I know little about Ryder’s dad and nothing about Cormac’s, except that Ryder didn’t get along with him.

Ryder has always been a taboo topic between us. One neither of us has brought up, not since I came here a week after sneaking into the prison, bringing her ID and a succulent. I dropped her ID loose in her purse, hoping she’d think she’d simply misplaced it. The plant died years ago, but the pot it came in still sits on the windowsill above the kitchen sink.

“No,” Nina answers, recovering. “Last I knew, he was in Denver. Dax is hard to pin down, to keep track of. He shows up when he wants to, not when you need him.”

I nod. That tracks with everything Ryder told me about his father.

“Not many hurricanes in Colorado.”

Nina’s lips twitch. “No, there aren’t.”

She pours the tea, filling the air with the scent of jasmine, and then pushes one cup closer to me.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. Thank you for the new flavors you sent. I’ve sampled all of them. Been drinking a lot of tea recently. The boys have tried some too.” She runs a finger around the rim of the teacup. “The pomegranate hibiscus is Ryder’s favorite.”

Her tone is tentative. She’s not sure if she should mention him.

“Good for summer,” is all I can come up with to say.

I’m still adjusting to this. To discussing Ryder with Nina so casually, like he’s been a part of our conversations all along. Like she’s his mother, not just my friend.

“I wasn’t planning to say anything,” Nina tells me. “About your visits. He saw the tea … put it together pretty fast.”

“It’s fine,” I say. “I probably should have told him myself. He, uh … it was just hard to reach him for a while.”

Nina half smiles sadly. “It was.”

I blow at the steam. “He-he wouldn’t let me see him,” I say impulsively. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to.”

“I know.”

I glance up. “He told you he kept me from visiting?”

Nina nods. “Yes. A few days ago.”

I’m relieved. Part of me has always felt she must have judged me for giving up on Ryder, even though she’d told me to.

“He didn’t give me a choice. Didn’t listen to me. Just shut me out. I wanted to see him, to talk to him. Even if we weren’t together anymore … I needed him. I don’t know how to forgive him for that.”

“There was a lot going on,” Nina reminds me gently.

I huff. “That’s not good enough.”

“Fair enough.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking to you about this. You’re his mom, and?—”

Nina reaches out and covers my hand. “I care about you too, Elle. If you want to talk, I’m always here.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “He let you visit him. Cormac. I’m sure Tucker did too. And me … I had to steal your ID and sneak in, just to see himonce.”

Nina’s eyebrows rise.

“Sorry,” I murmur.

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