Page 125 of Come Break My Heart Again

Some of his indignation disappears, sadness bleeding across his face. “I’m sorry, Elle. So sorry about all of it.”

“Stop fucking apologizing!” I shout. “All you do is apologize, and I don’t want it. Okay, Ryder? I don’t want it! And if you could stop judging the guys I date, that would be great too.”

“I wasn’t judging?—”

“Yeah, you were. Prescott broke up with me on the drive home from that bar, you know. Twenty fucking minutes around you, and he gave up. Decided I wasn’t worth fighting for becauseI never gave him any reason to. I hate you for that. I hate you for so much.”

Ryder clears his throat, then glances down at the floor. “I know. I know you do.”

I drain the rest of my wineglass and set it down on the counter. “I’m going to visit Nina on Thursday night before I leave for Martha’s Vineyard. She told me to stop coming because of you, but I want to see her. There’s only so much time left …” I swallow. “Don’t be home. Please.”

Ryder looks stricken. He might have known about my visits to his mom. He didn’t know I knew about her cancer. “She told you?”

I pass him without answering, heading down the hallway. It’s not until my blurry vision registers the photo of me, Keira, and Juliet framed on the wall that I remember where I am. Recall the size of Keira’s house and the volume of our voices. Realize … everyone inside heard all of that.

Like the terrible friend that I am, I don’t stop in the living room. Forcing a smile or pretending like everything is okay isn’t something I’m capable of right now.

I grab my purse off the coatrack by the door and step out onto Keira’s front porch.

Halfway down the stairs, I hear, “Elle!”

It’s not Ryder’s voice, so I slow. Swipe at my cheeks and blink rapidly before spinning around to focus on Keira’s sympathetic expression.

“You … okay?” Her voice is soft.

One look at her face, and I know I was right about sound carrying inside.

“Not really,” I admit.

“I didn’t know … most of that.”

“I know.”

“If I had, I never would have … the weekend on Martha’s Vineyard. The bar. I thought you were okay with seeing him. Thought maybe it’d be good closure. You should have told me.”

I shake my head. “You’re getting married. You’re entering this whole new exciting chapter. I wasn’t going to … and selfishly, I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Getting married to his best friend.”

“It’s not your fault. Not Tucker’s either.”

“I wish you’d told me about Prescott.”

“Yeah, well …” I lift a shoulder, then let it drop. “I’m a mess, if that wasn’t obvious by now. I’ll be fine.”

I’m alwaysfine. Nothing better, nothing less.

The door opens again. My heart tumbles, only settling when the features register.

It’s Tucker, not Ryder. He looks different without his usual smile.

“I should go,” I say. “I’m sure Scout has worn out his welcome at my parents’.”

Keira manages a smile. “Okay. I’ll talk to you soon?”

I nod.

Tucker steps forward. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

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