Page 26 of Merry Little Midlife Matchmaker

She smiled and shook her head. “It’s my pleasure. I love Christmas tree shopping. I ended up getting the artificial one because I just couldn’t manage hauling the kids and the tree around on my own every year, then dealing with getting rid of it and cleaning up, but I miss doing this. It used to be one of my favorite holiday activities. Mikey’s going to be thrilled. You sure you didn’t want to take him along?”

I massaged the steering wheel and took the turn that Lizzie pointed out while I mulled over my answer. The truth was, I hadn’t told Mikey that I’d be going Christmas tree shopping. I hadn’t wanted to get his hopes up in case I chickened out. But all I said was, “I wanted to make sure I could still get one before making any promises.”

“Oh, there’ll be lots,” Lizzie said with a wave of her hand. “They won’t run out for weeks. We might have to make a few stops for ornaments, but we’ll manage. You really havenoholiday decorations?”

I could feel her gaze on the side of my face, and for reasons beyond my reckoning, my mouth began to move. “Christmaswas never a good time for me growing up. I put on a happy face when Mikey was young, but…yeah. Not really my thing. My dad… Well, before he left, he made sure the holidays were full of stress. And then my mom—you know.”

“I remember,” she said softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks,” I said. My mom’s death had rocked me, and it had happened right before Christmas after a short, brutal fight with ovarian cancer. That year was a blur. Every year since then was marked by it. “Anyway, when my ex and I divorced, I agreed to give her every Christmas in our custody schedule.”

Lizzie was quiet for a beat. “I’m sorry,” she finally said.

“Don’t be. It worked out fine. I get him most of the time anyway, so it seemed like a fair trade.”

“So this is a big deal, huh?” She pointed to the parking lot where a fenced-in area had been set up with dozens of Christmas trees displayed on wooden trestles for sale.

I pulled in and found a spot, then stared at the forest of pine. “It’s a pretty big deal.”

When I met Lizzie’s gaze, her eyes were shining. “You’re a good father, Sean. I can tell by the way Mikey behaves and the way you two interact. And this? Putting your kid ahead of your own pain?” Her smile was a little sad. “I get that. Big time.”

My throat was tight. “Thanks,” I croaked with a nod. “That means a lot.”

And it did. I’d been a father for a decade, but sometimes it still felt like I was barely keeping the two of us alive. Lizzie seemed to spin a dozen plates for fun while managing her life and kids. She never broke a sweat. To have her notice and compliment my parenting…it made me want to know more about her. It made me want to let her in, so she could know more about me.

“Shall we?” she asked, smiling.

“Lead the way.”

Her jeans hugged the generous curve of her ass as she marched toward the Christmas trees, and my gaze was drawn to the movement of it. I had to stop. Even asking her for this favor had been questionable, when I was supposed to be Aaron’s oldest friend and he wouldn’t want me anywhere near his little sister.

Then again, Aaron didn’t seem to see his sister at all. In fact, he seemed to use her without really appreciating her for who she was.

The thought felt like a betrayal of my friendship with him, so I shoved it aside and followed Lizzie. She waved at the man sawing off the bottom of a tree next to a trailer, then stared at the rows of evergreen trees and took a deep breath. When she met my gaze, her smile made my chest feel lighter. It was impossible not to feel good around this woman, not to get caught up in the magic that seemed to cling to her.

“Love that smell,” she said, then clapped her glove-clad hands. “Okay. Douglas fir.” She pointed to the sign at the start of a row and tilted her head from side to side. “Hit and miss, honestly. They can be nice, but sometimes when the branches fall they have these massive gaps that you don’t expect. RealCharlie Brownkind of trees, which can be fun, but I’m guessing you’re not going for an ironic tree this year. What’s your budget?”

“Whatever it takes.”

“Dangerous words,” she said, eyes glinting, then waved me onward. She was like a tiny, curvy, holiday-fueled military general, and I felt like I’d follow her anywhere. “Fraser fir, gorgeous. Canaan, beautiful. Balsam, another option,” she announced. “Anything catch your eye?”

It all looked like a sea of green needles to me, but I took a deep breath and lifted a tree off the nearest trestle, shaking it out a little so we could get a look at its shape.

“Big gap between the branches on this side.” Lizzie made a buzzer sound then formed anXwith her arms. “Next!”

I laughed and put the tree back where I’d taken it. We did the same routine half a dozen times, me displaying the trees and Lizzie proclaiming them inadequate, until I reached for a particularly tall tree that had been leaning against the fence.

I realized I was grinning when Lizzie stopped considering the tree like our lives depended on the decision and finally met my gaze. Those dark eyes of hers sparkled, and her lips curled into a witchy smile.

I was desperate to kiss her. I wasn’t even sure it was a lust-fueled urge at this point. It was just a pull in my gut that made me want to wrap my arms around her and taste her lips. I wanted to hold all that happiness and cheer and sunshine in my arms just to feel what it would be like to call her mine.

I wanted to do a whole lot more than that, and it killed me that I couldn’t. I’d never be able to. Not when the only true friend I had would kill me if I did.

My father left when I was a young teen, my mother had passed when I turned nineteen, and then I’d left Heart’s Cove and all its memories behind. I’d gotten used to being on my own—until Melody. Until I thought I’d found companionship and stability.

And look how that turned out.

So I couldn’t lose sight of the real reason I was here. I was here to reconnect with my aunts and with the one family that had been there for me through thick and thin: the Butlers. Aaron, and to a smaller extent, Kyle, Lizzie, and their parents, had made those tumultuous teenage years bearable. Indulging in some ill-conceived lust with Aaron’s little sister would put my entire support system in jeopardy. Where would I go if I torched the last stable relationship I had? How would I explain it to Mikey? How could I call myself a good father if I put my ownneeds ahead of the stability and community I wanted to nurture for him?

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