Page 23 of Merry Little Midlife Matchmaker

I didn’t know why I cared. My own vanity had left me years ago, but I seemed to be increasingly aware of just how frumpy I looked all the time. Maybe the fact that Sean was a single parent and he managed to be fit and dashing had something to do with it.

Besides, Laurel told me they’d set up a time to get dinner and drinks together on the weekend. So if there had been any doubt in my mind about whether or not he’d been flirting with me through his messages last night, those doubts had been thoroughly extinguished.

But I squared my shoulders and painted a smile on my face, then herded the kids up to the front door. I knocked and let myself in, then followed the noise to the open kitchen/living area. Sean leaned against the kitchen island, looking lithe and muscular. He lifted a bottle of beer to his lips as my brother did the same, and I planted my hands on my hips and glared at my brother.

“An appointment?” I demanded.

Aaron glanced over. “Hey, Lizzie. Did I say appointment? I meant I was supposed to go out and see some old buddies of ours play at the Cedar Grove. Sean hasn’t seen any of those guys in almost a decade.”

“Uh-huh,” I told him, and the ache in my lower back pulsed.

“The kids haven’t eaten yet, but I’ve left some money for pizza. Don’t tell Emily.”

“I think she’ll figure it out when she walks in and smells it.”

My brother grinned. “I meant don’t tell her it was my idea.”

“I’m not taking that fall for you,” I told him, and dropped my bag on a nearby chair. “Hi, Sean.”

“Hey. Thanks for watching Mikey. If I’d known you were doing it under false pretenses, I wouldn’t have agreed.”

At least he sounded sincere.

“Lizzie doesn’t mind,” my brother said. “Do you?”

“What’s one more?” I said, forcing lightness into my voice. All the reasons that I shouldn’t be resentful flooded my brain in a familiar rhythm. Ididlove the kids, and Sean had just gotten back to town. A couple more hours on duty wasn’t the end of the world. Hazel and Zach would be happy. Aaron was family. I didn’t mind being here, even though I had been looking forward to my hot date with my couch.

The tiny part of me that had gotten upset about the stuffing at Thanksgiving made herself known, pointing out that the number of favors I did for Aaron seemed to eclipse the number of favors he did for me. When didIget a break? When didIget to have an evening at a local bar with a few friends?

I squashed the thought and gave Sean a tired smile. “Heard you and Laurel are meeting up on the weekend.”

“Figured it was better than feeling your wrath for leaving her hanging.”

I snorted. “And don’t you forget it.” I grinned, then felt it fade. “She’s great. You’ll love her.”

His eyes held mine for a moment, and I felt…

I don’t know what I felt. A little zing that went down my spine and settled somewhere in my gut. I felt like he was trying to tell me something, like there was a layer to his look that I hadn’tseen in a man’s eyes in a long, long time. That he might be seeing me. Reallyseeingme.

I wasn’t just the default babysitter. I wasn’t just Zach and Laurel’s mom, or Aaron’s little sister. I wasme, and I was worth looking at just for the sake of it.

Then he cleared his throat and straightened, blinking those beautiful eyes away from mine and toward my brother. The two of them said goodbye to their kids and made their way toward the front door, and I stood there like a piece of furniture.

A few hours later, with the kids (and me) full of pizza and plonked in front of a Christmas movie, I was relieved to hear the front door open. Emily needed a few minutes to get herself settled after work, so I leaned an elbow against the couch arm and watched the end of the movie with the kids, then gathered Zach and Hazel and finally took them home.

When I got in bed, exhaustion dragged at me, but I stared at the darkened shape of the ceiling fan above my bed for a long time. In the quiet of the house, with just me in my big bed, I felt very sad and very alone.

But that was ridiculous. My life was rich, and full, andgood.

Gritting my teeth, I tried to distract myself. I thought about my to-do list for tomorrow. I thought about the fact that I was almost out of laundry detergent. I thought about the Christmas cookies I was planning on making on the weekend.

And I thought about Sean.

My thoughts ran toward him like a dog who’d just slipped the leash. The look he’d given me in my brother’s kitchen had made me remember what it was like to feel like a woman. That, combined with the borderline flirtatious text he’d sent me about my “skills,” had my pulse picking up. I thought about his rough, working-man’s hands on my arms, and then—yeah, then I was distracted.

I don’t know when my hand dipped below the waistband of my pajamas, but by the time I started touching myself, there was no going back. Besides, it was just me, myself, and I, wasn’t it? Couldn’t I think about a big, broad, strong man draping his body over mine? Couldn’t I wonder how it would feel to have him press my thighs open and look at me like he had earlier today?

I wasn’t hurting anyone. Maybe I needed this—a quick release. I could get it out of my system and go back to the way things had been just a couple weeks ago.

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