Page 80 of Merry Little Midlife Matchmaker

There was space in my life for more than just motherhood, more than just giving.

As I finally got into bed, I glanced at the pillow beside me and remembered the warmth of Sean’s skin pressed against mine. It was like cracking the lid on a storm of emotions just enough to check that they were still there. I slammed the lid back down and turned my back to the empty space in my bed.

I wasn’t going to chase after a man who called me a mistake. I wasn’t going to mourn a relationship with someone who told me pretty lies and then failed to defend me when things got hard.

I’d been through that before, and I wasn’t going back.

THIRTY-SIX

LIZZIE

My mother calledme the next day while I was lounging on the couch with a cup of coffee. I stared at my phone for a while and considered not answering, but the guilt got to me and I swiped. The new me needed more practice, apparently.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Lizzie. I’m glad I caught you. How are you? How are the kids?”

I stared at the stockings hanging on the mantel and tried not to feel bitter about her questions. Would it have been impossible for her to simply ask how I was? She followed up so quickly with a question about the kids that it was obvious she didn’t give a flying fig about me.

But maybe I was being harsh. “I’m okay. The kids are great. Isaac and June are taking them to visit his parents today.”

“Oh, good for them.”

“Hmm.”

There was a silence. Then my mother inhaled. “Listen. I want to talk about what happened at Christmas.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“You and Sean…”

“We kissed.”

“Right. I know that. See, Lizzie, the thing is, Aaron was really upset about it.”

“Is there a reason you’re telling me this instead of Aaron telling me himself?”

I could hear her shock in the gap of silence that followed my question. “Well. I just thought I’d reach out and see if you were ready to apologize.”

I blinked. “What am I supposed to apologize for?”

“Lizzie!”

“It’s an honest question.”

“You’re supposed to apologize for hurting your brother’s feelings!”

“What does this have to do with Aaron? Am I supposed to ask permission every time I kiss a new man?”

“That’s not the issue here, and you know it.”

I pinched my lips. She wasn’t wrong, exactly, but I still felt the burn of self-righteousness down the back of my gullet. Sean was Aaron’s best and oldest friend. Me getting involved with him wasn’t the same as getting involved with some other man. I knew that.

Still, it galled me that my mother was calling me to berate me, or to try to convince me to bend for the sake of family unity.

When she spoke again, her tone was softer. “I’d just like to get this resolved so we can have a nice New Year’s together. Wouldn’t that be good? And I also wanted to ask you what you need from me before the party.”

“There won’t be a party, Mom.”

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