Page 42 of The Brotherly Shove

"This is Breaker Lawson. He's our QB," I say as I pull out a chair and gesture for him to sit.

"For the time being," B mutters under his breath, and I swat the back of his head. Lightly, of course.

I take the seat next to him, but when I look across from us, Kira has a snarl on her face that looks sharp enough to kill a man.

"This," she points roughly across the table at Breaker, "is the friend you brought? I thought we hated this guy?"

"We hate this guy?" Dean asks, joining his sister in pointing at Breaker and speaking like he's not there.

"Wait, why do we hate me?" Breaker asks, nerves and panic lacing his voice. I roll my eyes at the absurdity of it all.

"We don't hate him, we never did. Everyone relax," I say, miming for everyone to take a deep breath.

“But, at Adler's party—” Kira starts before I interrupt.

"I know, but it's fine. We, uhh," I pause, looking over at a ghostly white Breaker with a sly smile. Under the table, I slide my hand up his thigh. "We kissed and made up."

I wink at him, and his eyes go wide.

"Oh, cut the shocked face, Breaker. It was so obvious you two were the meat in a lover's quarrel sandwich at the holiday party," Kira says, rolling her eyes. "If Lennon says we don't hate you then fine. You're officially my friend Breaker. Now, I already ordered an assortment of different tacos for the table. Ordering the best items at restaurants is my superpower. I hope you don't mind, but also I don't give a shit if you do."

Dean gives the two of us a look that saysDon't ask me, she's just my sister, and thankfully the whole interaction breaks some of the tension.

Breaker fangirls over Dean and his career while we wait for the food, and Dean indulges him, even going so far as to promise Breaker a private practice session during the off season. The food arrives, and Kira was right. Ordering is her superpower. Everything from the roasted veggie tacos to the al pastor tostadas are delicious and just sinful enough to be flavorful but not so much that we're going to be reamed at practice tomorrow. I guess having a pro athlete as a dad and a brother, it shouldn't be a surprise that Kira would have considered our dietary needs when ordering. I'm polishing off the last few bites of the street corn with cotija cheese when Dean gestures between Breaker and I.

"So, I'm assuming from the way Lawson here almost shit his pants when you first got here you two are keeping this thing between you to yourselves?" he asks, sounding curious, not accusatory.

"Just until the season ends," Breaker answers with a nod. "It kind of sucks, but we want to keep the press focused on the gameand not our personal lives for now. It's not a huge deal, just our personal preference."

"That makes sense. You guys are looking like you could take your team all the way. Let the media hype you up for that, and keep your private stuff private. As long as that's what you both want…" Dean trails off, his eyes going forlorn looking.

"Whoa, McKenna. That was an abrupt and loaded end of a thought. There a story there, man?" I ask, and he shakes his head.

"There is, but it's one for another day. C'mon, let's get out of here and do something. I've been sitting too long." He says as he holds a heavy looking credit card over to the server and then signs the check, and that's how Breaker and I spend the afternoon in Mission Dolores Park getting our asses handed to us at Pickleball by the McKenna siblings.

Later on when we're in bed, cuddling and watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix after a long shower and a few exchanged blow jobs, my eyes start to droop as Breaker runs a hand over my chest.

"Do you think that's what it's gonna be like all the time? When we're, you know, out, or whatever?" He asks, absentmindedly gliding his fingers through my chest hair.

"Like what?" I answer around a yawn.

"Like…" he trails off for a moment, and I look down to see him thinking really hard about his answer. "Simple, I guess? Easy? I don't know. I thought I was going to lose it for a moment earlier. I mean I was meeting Dean Fucking McKenna, and then on top of it, you just claimed me in front of him and his sister like it was nothing. And it was nothing. It was fucking huge, but it was also like anytime I've ever been introduced as somebody'ssomebodyin the past. I think I've built you—built us—up so big in my mind over the last few years that I was half expecting some kind of breakdown as soon as this thing wasn't just oursanymore, and that didn't happen. Do you think it's always going to be like that?"

I sigh, taking in everything he's telling me and trying to form a response that won't have him running for the hills because the truth isno.I don't always think it's going to be as simple and as easy as telling an old friend of mine that Breaker is my boyfriend. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous earlier as well, but he's not something I want to hide except for when it's necessary to protect him. The truth is, I can almost guarantee that when we do come clean about our relationship to the public, there's going to be some sort of shit storm waiting for us.

"No," I answer after a moment. "No, I don't think it's going to be easy like today was. Not all the time, and certainly not with the public and the press. Unfortunately, there's going to be questions and speculation. There's going to be people who call it a sham and a publicity stunt because you're out and as of now I'm not. The press is going to speculate and pontificate. The Redwoods might lose fans. Fans of other teams already hate us because their teams can't stop the shove. We're going to get even more backlash from that. Adler says he has our back and I believe him, but he's not going to be able to stop every wayward look or snide comment from the staff. It's going to be tough, baby, but it's going to be worth it. Just like how keeping it to ourselves is worth it right now. It doesn't matter to me what anyone says or the rocks that they try to throw at us because this right here? Our connection, our love? It's all ours. Do you trust that I meant that?"

In the soft glow of the TV still humming lowly in the background, I can see the tears welling in Breaker's beautiful hazel eyes. He blinks, and one spills over. I lean in to kiss it off his cheek, but he maneuvers and presses his lips to mine instead.

"I trust you, Lennon. We're going to be okay. I know we will."

And with that, that statement of trust, of truth, of a willingness to fight the dragons with me, I snuggle Breaker closer into my chest and drift off to sleep in his warmth.

CHAPTER 26

BREAKER

Three YearsAgo

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