Page 60 of Quasim: King Inferno

Quasim pulled into the driveway of his lake house. The black and gray modern home with staggered decks surrounded by glass and large windows was absolutely beautiful. I couldn’t focus on it because the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach was screaming at me to do what I needed to do.

“Quasim,” I started.

He turned the truck off and turned his attention to me. “Yeah.”

His tone was as if he already knew what I was going to say to him. “Let me be happy. Even if that’s not with you, stop doing this with me. Let me go, because I can’t do this. My heart hurts and it’s not supposed to do that with you. It has hurt so many times in the past, and I don’t want that anymore… you’re not ready and I can see and understand that. Stop playing both sides… wanting me when you want me, then discarding me when you sense things getting too serious. It’s not fair to me and I deserve fucking better. I told you that I loved you and you couldn’t say it back… continue to heal and focus on you. As for me and you… I’m done.”

“Anjo.”

“When I first found out that I had cancer, I hated myself because I wasted so much of my healthy years accepting what I didn’t deserve. Chasing and giving my all to someone who couldn’t and wouldn’t do the same. I promised myself if I fought hard and overcame it, I would put me first. I love you, Quasim,but I love me more. I owe it to myself to see where this can go with Zay. Allow him to love me.” I opened the car door, grabbing my bags and heading into the house without looking back, because I knew I would burst into tears.

Quasim

She wasright and I knew she was right.

Still, it didn’t hurt any less to hear the pain in her voice, knowing that my back and forth with her put it there. I hurt her when all I had been trying to do isnothurt her. I didn’t want to be the reason she was uncertain and doubted what her heart wanted.

Blair knew she loved me and wanted me to know it. I was the ass hat that couldn’t say it back because I was afraid. Not because I didn’t know how she felt, but because I knew the minute I admitted that shit out loud, it became real.

In my stupid ass mind, I figured if I kept my distance from her that it would hurt less if something happened to her. I wouldn’t be fucked up behind it, and even I knew that was some bullshit.

If something was to happen to that woman, I would torch this city to the ground before taking my own life. That was how strongly I felt about the woman that I wanted to be my everything. She deserved more from me and being that my ass couldn’t step up and give that to her, I had to let her be happy.

Fuck that.

She couldn’t be happy without me, and the same applied to me. I couldn’t get with anybody else and ever be happy. Blair made me happy; she sparked that part of my heart with her corky ass personality.

“Damn, you damn near eating the spliff. Matter fact, keep that shit for yourself,” Capone brought me from my thoughts as he ate a cookie, one that I could only assume came from Gams.

“Fuck up,” I snorted and took another pull as I leaned against my truck while we waited for the women to finish getting ready.

Since we’ve been here, I hadn’t seen much of Elijah because Ry and CJ had his ass busy. They rode bikes and swam all damn day. Gams made sure he was taken care of right along with Ryder. He made sure before he went to bed, he came to wherever I was to pray with me before laying down.

That was something I had become used to since I had him full time. It made me feel good as shit to know that he wanted to pray with me before he closed his eyes. The party bus was already waiting to take us to the city, if the women would hurry and bring they asses on.

“On the real, you straight? You seem like you got a lot of shit on your mental.”

“I always have a lot of shit on my mental, Capo… trying to figure out shit in my head.” He leaned on my truck next to me.

“Blair.”

“Why you going there?”

He laughed. “Cause you not going there, knowing you love that damn girl. I get you lost your girl, and that shit gonna follow you through life. I also know that she wouldn’t want you out here punishing yourself because of it. Allow yourself to love, and be loved, bro… shit feels amazing… ain’t that right, Gorgeous,” he looked over as his wife came walking down the driveway.

“What you talking about, Winnie?” She reached up and kissed him on the cheek, as he took in her outfit.

She wore a pair of high-rise wide legged jeans, crop top, and a pair of heels. Capone spun her around and then pulled her back into his arms. “How I’m the luckiest nigga in this world, Mrs. Delgato.”

“I know that’s right. Now, don’t get all mad when I act a fool at this concert.”

“Nah, Gorgeous, act like you got some damn sense… especially if he comes to our suite.”

She laughed. “Alright.”

I could tell from the way she laughed and waved him off that she was going to act a fool. Cappadonna and Alaia came walking from a few streets over, and he was singing something to her as they stopped to two-step in the middle of the street. As they got closer, I could hear the words to

A Jaheim song.

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