Page 45 of Quasim: King Inferno

“Baby, please… I want to know that I’m not in this alone. Quasim, I have loved you, and I want to continue loving you. I didn’t lie when I told you that I wanted to give you babies and wear your last name.” I continued on, as he hovered over me.

He didn’t avoid eye contact, but nothing left his mouth. I couldn’t read his facial expression and that scared me.

“Anjo.”

I held his face in my hands. “Tell me that you feel the same way about me. Help me realize that I’m not crazy, and all of this isn’t one sided.” I stressed.

My chest was beating a million miles per hour as I waited, clinging on to hope, praying for him to tell me something. Give me an inkling that we were in this together, and we could be together.

“Fuck,” he cursed himself as he leaned up, leaving me leaned on my elbows completely naked.

“Why is it so hard for you to tell me how you feel? It’s clear you feel something for me, Quasim. You purchased me this fucking building but can’t tell me that you love me… or at least like me.”

He was staring at me, but it felt like he was staring through me, in another world. Quasim was standing in this room with me, but he wasn’t mentally here. His body was tense, and his breathing was labored like he was ten minutes from having a panic attack.

“Maybe you should go.” I climbed across the bed, grabbing my robe from the chair in the corner. “I deserve more than this… me pleading and begging to be loved is beneath me. I told myself I wouldn’t do it again.”

He grabbed his vest and turned to leave without saying another word. The tears pricked my eyes as I followed behind him, looking at the chair that we had just shared a moment in. “I told you that I need more ti?—”

“Time that I don’t have to give. I truly hope that you find who you’re looking for, because she’s not me. I cannot continue living on the little pieces of affection and attention you give me. I want more and I deserve more… night, Quasim.” I held the door open and he walked through, continuing toward the stairs, never looking back.

I closed the door and quickly looked through the peep hole to see if he would turn back around, and he never did.

I slid down the door and pulled my legs to my chest while sobbing about what could have been for us.

It hurt so much because I loved this man. I’ve loved a man before, and I had to move on from him, and Quasim was no different.

I needed to do what was best for me, even if it hurt.

Quasim

I feltlike a fucking cornball as I left her there, naked and wanting me. The minute she said those words, though I suspected it, I froze and didn’t know what to say or do. Fear crippled my ass. I was someone that was always so sure and in control of everything and in that moment, I lost control of my own body.

The hurt in her eyes as she stared back at me, wanting me to say the same thing, feel the same way, show her that everything she envisioned wasn’t her imagination. My throat closed up as I held her naked body in my arms. The few words that I had managed to say did more bad than good in that moment.

“You lucky I’m up with Cherry… you dead?” Blaze yawned into the phone as I drove to his crib.

“Need my brother right now.”

I could hear something moving in the background and the sound of my niece demolishing her bottle. “Come through… you know the code.”

“Bet.”

It didn’t take me long to come from Blair’s crib to Blaze and Capri’s place. Their house on the compound was still in theprocess of being built. I pulled into the driveway and sat in my whip for a minute, closing my eyes and envisioning her body. Her perfect fucking body in my arms, as she craved me.

Told me she wanted to love me.

Would do whatever for me, and my stupid ass fucking froze like a cornball. Showing her exactly what she was afraid of.

My body and mind were fucking working against each other. It was like my heart was ready for everything that came with loving Blair, and then my mind was reminding me what happened the last time I loved someone.

They were taken away from me.

I had to live life knowing someone hated me that much that they took someone I loved from me. My feelings for Blair were so deep and strong that I couldn’t survive it happening to me again.

She was safer loving a different nigga than me. As much as seeing her smile in that rapper nigga’s face, I knew she was safer with him than me. These pussies didn’t give a fuck about trying to end me, they wanted to take the next best thing, and that was anyone that I loved.

I loved Blair.

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