Page 3 of Quasim: King Inferno

“Considering the prices for food here… I cannot wait to come home. Have you been watering my plants?” I questioned Capri as I pushed the cart around the overpriced grocery store.

I had been in Los Angles for a little over two months with a new client of mine. Her husband played for the Los Angeles Porters, and she had her baby last week. As her postpartum doula, I was out grocery shopping for my last week working with her.

As good as the money was, I missed home, and this was never supposed to be a forever thing. I was an east coast girly through and through. I loved the warm weather, beautiful vibes, and picturesque views that Los Angeles offered, however, I was ready to head back home.

My client’s diet was strict after the baby and this grocery store was the only store in this whole city that had every ingredient that she needed. Since she was in the spotlight often, she was more concerned with ‘snapping back’ than actuallyhealing and bonding with her baby. As a breastfeeding mama, she should have been consuming more calories than she was currently eating. Breastfeeding took a lot out of the mamas, and they needed to replenish with as much food that was being taken from them.

Ivory didn’t care about none of that. She was more concerned with showing her followers how quickly she could snap back after just having a baby. Considering how friendly her husband was always being, I understood why the pressure was on to lose all that baby weight and be back in the limelight with him.

“Actually, I stopped by your apartment after work to water the plants and pump because my breasts were killing me, and I wasn’t gonna make it home.”

I laughed because I could hear her smashing on something in my ear. “Is the breastfeeding something you’re going to continue?”

When Capri first started breastfeeding, she wanted nothing to do with it. Her supply was good, and she had no trouble producing milk. It was painful for her, and she was scared, which was normal for a first-time mother.

After showing her the way to breastfeed comfortably and giving her all the information that came with breastfeeding Rayce, she stuck with it. It helped that she had Meer, who was super dad. Capri didn’t have to lift a finger when it came to night feedings with Rayce. Soon as he heard the baby, he was up and getting her pillow so she could breastfeed.

They had argued a few times because he tried to pull her boob out while she slept to avoid waking her up when Rayce wanted to eat. Meer wanted to make everything easier for his wife, and he was excited to experience this at the same time. It was cute, because he was so clueless about everything that came with Rayce but was so open to learn and help Capri out with the baby.

Between her husband and family, when she needed help, everyone stepped in to be there for her. Capri had a support system that most women prayed to have when having their first child. It was a support system that I wanted to have when it was time for me to have my own children. I’ve always dreamed of having a family, husband, and everything that came with expecting your first child.

“Rayce didn’t take well to the formula that we tried with her, then Meer gave me the stink eye for two days because she had the runs and was spitting up, so I’m still going to be a cow.”

I laughed. “Don’t look at it like that… you are giving her the best nutrition and I know you’re pumping, so we still outside this summer once we’re back from Bali.”

She groaned into the phone. “I’m nervous about leaving my baby behind, Blair. I’ve never left her, and even now when I go into the office, it’s only for a few hours.”

Erin had planned a couple’s trip with everyone to Bali. She was focused on visiting an elephant retreat and all of us just having fun since she missed out on Italy. I was excited to visit Bali, and finally being able to put some space between me and work.

From the moment I rang the bell, I’ve been on go. I was on a flight that next week to come out to California. As much as I loved my career, it could become draining and depressing at times. These women needed me to advocate for them, and usher them into motherhood without any complications. With Ivory, she wanted me to come a month before she gave birth and stay for a month after to get her adjusted into motherhood.

As her postpartum doula, I was responsible for making sure that Ivory was set up for motherhood. I was caring for the baby when she went to nap, or some nights when she didn’t want to wake up with him. On top of preparing her breakfast, lunch, anddinner, I was teaching her everything she didn’t know about her body and baby.

When her husband was home, I was showing him the proper way to hold his son, and how he could help his wife once I was gone. Their home was beautiful, and the guest house was the size of someone’s actual home.

On the nights when she wanted me to handle the overnight routine, I slept in the baby’s nursery with him. It was hard having time for yourself when you were running around ragged, trying to make sure someone else was good.

Then, I had to take care of a precious baby boy, and I couldn’t help but to think of my own that I had lost. I often found myself staring into space, and wondering how my life would have been. It was one of the things that I could relate to Quasim with, and I never brought myself to tell him. It was too painful.

Too hard.

“Um, Blair?”

Capri’s voice brought me back to the conversation and my current task of finding the perfect organic mango for the sticky rice I was making for Ivory tonight.

“I’m sorry. What were we talking about?”

“Bali… I’m scared of leaving Rayce behind.” She jogged my memory, and I grabbed a few mangos and continued walking around the grocery store.

“Did you consider bringing her along? I know you don’t have a nanny right now because Gams and your mom watch her, but maybe you should consider one.”

Capri sighed into the phone. “Maybe I’m overreacting.”

“You’re not overacting, Suga. I told you if you want to bring Rayce, what the fuck everybody gonna say?” Meer’s voice boomed in the background.

“I know, Meer. I’m torn because going away and having fun sounds like a dream. No kids, and just the two of us… we need that.” She stressed to Meer.

Her words were followed with the sound of both of them sucking faces with each other. “Um, hello? I am still on the phone.”

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