Page 37 of Knot Just for Show

“Oh…” Lysander’s voice is still small and unsure.

I’m on the cusp of making an excuse for myself when I hear the words, soft and almost frightened from his side of the wall.

“Iama virgin.”

“Hewhat!?” Roxy crows incredulously at me as soon as I close the door to her bathroom behind her.

“He’s a virgin Rox,” I shake my own head with lingering disbelief—sucking desperately on my vape pen—an unseen clog keeping me from the sweet, sweet tranquil relief of 92% THC indica.

Roxy clucks her tongue at me, batting the vape pen away from my face and motioning to the small plastic canister filled with joints peeking out of her ditty bag.

“Like, not ‘he’s never been in a rut—but like—he’s never…y’know.” She waggles her eyebrows, rolling one of her bath towels into a lumpy log and jamming it at the base of the door, blocking the crack with the tube of white cotton.

“So, it’s not like he’s ‘never been kissed’ or that whole thing… But yeah he is certainly less experienced than I anticipated.” I hop up onto the bathroom counter, taking a seat next to the sink while Roxy flips on the fan vent and lights up a joint.

“So like—he’s done everythingbutthe actual fuckin’?” Roxy asks indelicately, blowing smoke out of her nostrils casually.

“I wouldn’t put it that way,per se.” I blush furiously, happy to take receipt of the joint along with a deep inhale—full lungs of smoke excusing me from elaborating further.

“Whaaat!?” Roxy pinches the joint from my fingers and goggles at me, wide eyed with incredulity.

“Look, just because we’re not in front of the cameras doesn’t mean that I’m going to give away all of his personal information, okay?” I bristle.

Roxy flashes me a wicked grin.

“There she is. That’s my girl!” She scuffs a punch off of my shoulder before passing the joint back to me. “You stand up for your man—I should learn to mind my own fucking business, anyway.” Roxy winks at me.

“Stop being so damn proud of me whenever I give the slightest indication of not being a doormat,” I laugh, the sweet acrid smoke escaping my lips as I croak at her through the hit.

Roxy laughs, then I laugh, and soon Roxy is off; mouth moving a mile a minute talking about how she’s pretty sure that Anton is telling both her and Brittney the same smooth guy bullshit—but really, he’s just a player. I contemplate chiming in about the strange scheduling issue with him showing up on my list for this afternoon—but quickly get lost in thinking about the end of my conversation with Lysander.

While I didn’t want to cough up the details for Roxy—it turns out that Lysander really doesnothave much in the way of experience beyond french kissing and over the bra groping. When I asked him if he’d ever gotten head before—I was worried that he had swallowed his own tongue—the chain of loud and violent coughs that had erupted from his side of the wall had left me genuinely concerned—even after his gasping assurances that he had simply swallowed water down the wrong pipe.

I had thought about making another ‘swallowing’ joke—but hadn’t wanted to come off as crass or overeager. I would be lyingthough, if I said that I hadn’t found myself thinking about it—being Lysander’s first…

“Hello, earth to Ursula!” Roxy reaches out and gently raps her knuckles on the top of my skull as if she’s knocking on the front door.

“Yes? What? Sorry!” I fumble, scrambling to scrub my brain for even the smallest scrap of what Roxy had been saying for the last…I don’t even know how long.

“Phee-ew! Girl, you arenotsubtle at all,” she laughs, fanning her hand in front of her face as if to move along my vapor trail.

Chapter Thirteen

Teddy

Another morning, another full schedule of dates.

During this phase of the ‘experience,’ the dudes go on second dates with the women that they had mutual interest in to see if there’s enough between them to merit exchanging scent cards.

Since the main point of me being on the show is to have as much screen time as possible while looking like an absolute snack—I agree to go on all of my second dates; six out of a possible eight. Not too bad, if I do say so myself.

And I do.

I hit the gym, shower, order a tray of the power protein breakfast to my little temporary bachelor pad—and contemplate the fact that I may have already spent my last evening in isolation from the other dudes.

If I end up agreeing to meet the rest of my prospective pack orpacksafter the scent card exchange, I’ll likely end up spending most of my time in whichever pack common rooms I gain access to.

Since I’m not actually here under the pretense of finding my ‘forever’---I’m less daunted by the potential chemistry between me and my potential packmates, I’m excited about what kind of fun stuff will be loaded into the ‘man caves’ for each group. In previous seasons, they had shit like pool tables, jacuzzis, private bars and all kinds of gaming setups.

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