Page 27 of Knot Just for Show

I don’t know what my face is doing, but it must not be doing a sufficient job of convincing Roxy that I know from experience what she’s talking about, because her joking expression falters before widening into shocked disbelief.

“Wait a minute, Ursula…” she trails off, suddenly looking me up and down.

Bless her, Roxy turns her back to the camera crew so that she’s facing me and the wall—her hands cupped around her mouth as she soundlessly forms the words, “You haven’t gone through a heat before!?” Her lips moving slowly and deliberately.

I bobble my head anxiously in the affirmative.

Roxy’s lips press into a thin, pale line, her hands crawling anxiously up her forehead toward her hairline.

For a split second I’m worried I might start crying, but Roxy suddenly grabs my hand, shooting up from her place on her blanket and pulling me to my feet along with her.

“What are you–?” I stammer as Roxy drags me out of the lounge with her and down the hallway to her room. We burstthrough first the door to her room, then the small bathroom—one of the few places the camera crews are not allowed to follow us—and slammed it shut behind us.

“Ursula, are you fucking serious? Have you reallynevergone through a heat before?” she hisses at me, barely above a whisper.

Tears sting the corners of my eyes and I nod my head once more.

Roxy covers her eyes with her palms and takes a deep steading breath before uncovering them and asking with barely contained distress, “So you’ve been cycling on your suppressants since, what? You were eighteen or something?” She looks at me, incredulous.

“Yes,” I whisper, which causes Roxy to replace her palms over her closed eyes again, whispering “Shit, shit, shit, shit…,” under her breath for a few seconds before collecting herself once more, hands falling softly and gently onto the rounds of my shoulders.

“You’re…you’re not a virgin too, are you?” She winces—then quickly amends, “Not that it’s bad or wrong if you are! I wasn’t trying to insinuate that you shouldn’t make your own choices about your body and your–”

This time, it’s my turn to cut Roxy off.

“No Roxy, you don’t have to worry about that. I’m not a virgin,” I reassure her, reaching up and rubbing the outsides of her outstretched arms soothingly as she grips my shoulders. “It just wasn’t ever the right time for me to be with anyone other than heat helpers at the local center.” I look at my feet, allowing my hands to drop from her arms. “Which is fine and everything, but it’s not what I wanted,” I conclude, unable to meet her gaze.

“Jesus Ursula.” Roxy shakes her head, letting go of my shoulders. “Have you told any of the guys you’ve been talking to yet?”

I squirm, it’s enough of an answer for Roxy. She groans in response.

“Ok, so–we gotta make sure Brittney doesn’t find out about this. She will absolutely make a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be. I would recommend you talk about it with your prospective beaus, though.” She fixes me with those mauve eyes of hers, her mouth set in a grim line.

“You think that I really need to tell them before we even exchange scent cards?” I stammer, genuinely surprised that Roxy thinks it’s this important to tell them so early.

“Absolutely. You don’t want to be messing around with anyone who isn’t going to respect meeting you where you’re at.” Roxy crosses her arms over her chest, her tone matter-of-fact.

“B-but, what if they find my lack of heat experience such a turnoff that they won’t even see if we scent match?” I blubber, already assuming the worst.

“If they think that your ‘lack of heat experience’ is a turnoff—they aren’t the guys for you! Don’t you get what I’m saying, Ursula?” Roxy reaches out and actually shakes me at this.

I nod slowly, even if I don’tlikethe understanding she is leading me to.

“What about interpack relationships?” Roxy stops shaking me, her severe gaze threatening to melt me like a laser once more.

“Oh,” I squeak.

I actually have thought about this, even if I hadn’t talked about it with any of my dates yet. As a teenage newly designated omega, I had initially been opposed to the idea of other relationships between the other members of my pack. I had thought that I would become jealous—that it would sow the seeds of doubt between myself and my pack partners. Once I started to hear tales of my best friend Daphne’s pack though—of her fourgorgeouspartners that were just as smitten with one another as they were with her, and how it tended to manifest itself in the bedroom (and the kitchen, and the living room, andthe garden, and the back of the limo to a movie premiere—that lucky bitch).

“I know how I feel about it, but haven’t talked to the boys about it yet, no,” I try to weasel my way towards an exit to this conversation.

This seems to take Roxy back a bit.

“Okay, Miss Lady—as long as you know what you’re about.” She holds her hands up. “I know that I was probably a bit on theproactiveside when it comes to talking about the whole sexual aspect,” she laughs, finally slouching with some relief and leaning against the bathroom vanity. “I would probably bring that up before you end up exchanging scent cards though—don’t forget—all the dudes who end up matching to your scent…will be allowed to start hanging out over there on the men’s side.” She gives me a mischievous smirk. “And if you’re going to be down with them being intoeach other, well–you give them some time to start figuring out how well their chemistry works together before the reveal. They’ll do some of the workforyou.”

I don’t even know what any of my mystery crushes look like, but the idea of a bunch of my future pack membersgetting to knowone another intimately—getting all wound up before I get to meet them—their omega…

“Whew!Ursula—you are cranking this bathroom so full of perfume—” She fans the air in front of her face.

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