Page 126 of Knot Just for Show

When she steps beneath the stage lights, glittering and gleaming, she is the very embodiment of our pack's namesake. The low neckline of her dress showcases Teddy and Mavren’s bite scars; worked into an elaborate chest piece tattoo—Red Ewing roses, springing from red thorned vines, a tangle of lemon thyme—Mavren’s favorite herb, twined with a burst of creamy white Rhododendrons—West Virginia’s state flower and Ronan’s favorite; a treble clef and jade rabbit figurine tangled with the flowers and herbs.

“Please welcome to the stage, the members of Pack Gold,” Anna announces—the members of Pack Milton arranged around her on the royal blue velvet couch at the apex of the soundstage.

“Certainly seems as if you had quite the whirlwind of an adventure this season." Anna beams, continuing on without giving us a chance to speak. “Pack Gold's story had it all. Steamy romance, shocking drama, closely guarded secrets, and surprises around every turn. You all really showed us that it is possible to build a pack blind.”

The studio audience roars with applause and Ursula smiles sweetly, waiting for Anna to ask her first interview question.

“So everybody's dying to know if you’ve bonded...” Anna begins reading from the teleprompter, but she's cut off by Paul and the other members of her pack, laughing.

“They wrote these lines before they got a good look at our friend Ursula, huh?” Paul laughs conspiratorially to the audience—the crowd guffawing in unison; Ursula's very visible bite scars, removing any mystery as to whether or not she has bitten into the pack.

“So, Ursula, as curious as we might have been, it's clear to see you've been a little busy.” Anna looks directly at the camera, giving the viewers at home a conspiratorial wink.

“Why yes, Anna, I certainly have.” Ursula turns herself toward the audience, basking in the glow of their applause and laughter for a moment before Anna cuts in again.

“So, Pack Gold has made things official, but surely, you've been doing more than just…” She makes a scandalous face, implying all manner of private activities with a single meaningful raise of her brows. “What have you been up to since the last time we've seen you?”

“Gosh, there's just been so much! Of course, there was a period of adjustment after we finished filming the show. It was just so strange to have our privacy back, for our time to truly be our own. Then there was the matter of opening La Cerise.”

“Which has been a runaway success, we've heard,” Paul interjects, trying Anna’s patience yet again.

“We couldn't be happier. I've been thrilled with the overwhelmingly positive reception of the new menu—we've gotten lots of really beautiful reviews around town. Of course, Ash has been absolutely working his ass off to put on incredible shows every night with our incomparable omega,” Mavren steps in to give Ursula a break from answering questions, one of his long muscular arms extending over the back of the couch to rest over Ursula's shoulders.

“Yes, it's been quite entertaining to see the artist formerly known as DJ KR3OSOTE, find new life as a jazz musician,” Anna clucks her tongue, feigning interest.

“I certainly didn't have it on my bingo card,” Ash laughs easily. Crossing one leg over his knee and relaxing back into the sofa. “But like Mavren said, we couldn't be happier. Every night I get to eat excellent food, shoot the shit with my favorite people in the world, and make music with the woman I love. What could be better than that?” Ash’s ice blue eyes twinkle with affection as he reaches across my lap to clasp Ursula's hand—she reaches across Teddy's lap—their hands meeting at the borderlands between Teddy and I.

“I don't know if you can beat it. Sounds like a fairy tale,” Anna sighs dreamily.

“And what about you, Lysander? Now that everybody knows the truth about your inherited fortune, how are things working out for your gallery, your art dealing business?”

“For now, my business partner Natasha has taken the lead on the gallery and the rest of our operations. I will be continuing to focus my efforts on La Cerise and the developments at the Wong Dancing and Martial Arts Facility in Bakersfield through the end of this fiscal year. Though, there may be some exciting opportunities that end up bringing our entire pack abroad in the next year,” I answer vaguely, dangling the prospect of our romantic and professional developments over Pack Milton and the audience like a cat toying with the mouse.

“Somewhere abroad…you wouldn't be able to give us any details. Would you?” Anna makes a big show of trying to pull the information from me coyly.

“Well, I won’t say it’s not Paris.” I turn to face the nearest camera, giving everyone at home my most mischievous smirk.

“It isn’t just Pack Gold's lives that Ursula has touched, both Roxanne and Britt credit Ursula with helping them make one of the most difficult choices that one can make on this show.”

Everyone's heads swivel to Roxy and Britt, seated next to one another on a standalone loveseat between the men they rejected.Roxy is the first to speak, her microscopic magenta sequin dress sparkling under the stage lights.

“It was pretty easy to tell, even before going to the reveal, that the kind of relationship Ursula was developing with her pack was deep, meaningful, true. I had barely gotten to know the men who I was exchanging sent cards with. We just couldn’t seem to get past the superficial stuff and I just couldn't realistically go to a reveal when we all seemed to care so little for each other—to meet these men who I felt I barely knew.”

Once Roxy is finished. Everyone's attention turns to Britt.

“Watching the show once it aired was a pretty big wake up call for me. Never before had I been forced to sit and watch my behavior played back to me on tape. I was appalled by the way that I had treated Ursula and my fellow contestants.” Britt sniffles, dabbing carefully at her eyes with a delicate kerchief. “I'm in therapy now, but honestly it's still pretty hard to talk about.” Her bottom lip wobbles delicately as she tilts her face upward to avoid the tears spilling over her bottom lashes. “I thought that I really loved those guys that I decided to meet at the reveal, but seeing Ursula and Pack Gold? Not just how the guys really supported and cared about her, but how they stood up for each other—even the way that they interacted with Anton, who had joined my pack, under the pretense of being into me, but ran straight into the arms of every other woman on set that he could as soon as I'd turned my back.”

“Wow, what a disappointment.” Anna shakes her head. “How did you find out about Anton's infidelity?”

“After the drama on the beach during the first mixer, Anton and I got into a bit of a fight. I took off and Ian followed me to comfort me. Apparently while I was gone, Anton made the rounds to several of my gal pals, thinking somehow that we wouldn't talk—or that our allegiance to one another would crumble for a fuckboy like him.” She shakes her head, disgusted.“Of course we talked to one another. As soon as I came back, my girls let me know what was up.”

“And you chose to trust the girls from the bubbles, even though you know that all these women have been complicit in bullying Ursula, spreading rumors, etcetera?” Anna, really twists the knife.

Part of me is vindicated in seeing Britt raked over the coals, but most of me feels bad that she's being crucified on this reunion episode when she's already apologized to me in private and seems to really be making some serious progress in therapy.

“Yeah, I know it really wasn't a good look, but what can I say, it helped open my eyes. I realized that we—that us girls should stick together. That rats like Anton are the real enemy and I lost the opportunity to be good friends with women like Roxy and Ursula because I was in competition with them for attention from total shit stains like Anton.”

This draws a roar of laughter from the crowd and a round of spirited applause from my pack and I.

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