Page 114 of Knot Just for Show

“I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce these two. Ronan, Ash, Lysander, meet my brothers Joshua and David. Insufferable, as you can tell." I smile blithely, sticking my tongue out at both of my siblings before blowing them each a kiss.

Happy to be included, Joshua and David grin alongside my parents. Joshua takes a breath, and I'm worried that he's winding up to share an embarrassing story or something of the like when we are interrupted by the sound of voices at the door and the swinging of hinges.

Teddy appears in the doorway, three figures following close behind. I can tell nearly right away who they are. Meesh, Dom, and Pol, the three people Teddy swore that he would tell, that I would need to impress back home if things were to get really serious.

Some part of me is relieved that he's finally shown up, with or without his three friends. Another part of me can’t stop thinking about what his mom, Lindsay, said—how she and Mei are behaving.

“Sorry I'm late!” Teddy calls apologetically as he leads the three toward the table.

I know Meesh instantly by her tall and willowy ballerina’s body—her long brown hair tied into a high ponytail.

Dom, a compact beefcake, with her black hair short cropped and coily against her deep brown scalp, a silver fuckboy chain around her slender neck.

Last of all, Pol, a curious character; tall and lean—an impeccably styled patchwork vest in many jewel toned colors, buttoned over their narrow bare chest—the last of Teddy’s companions took their seats at the far end of the table.

Teddy, quick to make his way down to where I stand beside his moms to kiss me gently on the lips before helping me into my seat.

“Ursula, this is Meesh, Dom and Pol.” He sweeps his hand between us. “Meesh, Dom, Pol, this is Ursula. The three eye me with open surprise. Not a distaste or a disdain, from what I can tell, but genuine and complete shock.

Before anybody can say anything else though, Mavren's sister-in-law, Coral, shows up with two young servers in tow, all three of them holding chilled bottles of Vinho Verde ready to serve.

“Ursula, glad we've finally gotten to meet you—even if only in passing.” She winks at me as she serves me some of the pale, almost green, clear liquid. “We got to meet the boys earlier—and trust me, we'll have plenty of time for a girl's night later, but I wanted to sneak by and say hello before we got to the main course.” She winks one of those sage green eyes at me with a grin.

“Girls night sounds great to me. I'll make sure I get your number before we leave tonight!” I assure her before she collects her underlings and returns to the kitchen.

I'm about to make some sort of toast because I feel as if that's the sort of thing you do in this situation. However awkward it may be. I am unsure as to how these other parents feel about their children competing in this reality program, but I'm hell bent on making the best impression possible. Just as I'm about to raise my glass. There's the loud tinkling of Teddy striking a fork against the side of his crystal tumbler of water.

“All right, everybody, I hate to bother you. But there are a few things that I'd like to get out of the way before we startour absolutely beautiful dinner here tonight at Pomme Verte.” Teddy rubs his hands together, hopping from foot to foot with barely leashed energy.

I look to the trio of his closest friends, their expressions suspended in a state of anticipation. My stomach drops when I turn my gaze to Mei and Lindsay and find them both intently staring at me.

“I know that some of you are concerned about how we all met,” Teddy begins, his manner easy, his tone casual—though I can tell by his loaded posture—the bloodless grip of his knuckles as he wrings his hands, that he is performing a delicate operation, and it is costing him.

“While many of you met at school, or maybe at your first job, through a placement agency, or perhaps even at the bar.” He pauses, looking around at each of our families with a small smile. “We have met in a much less traditional manner; Good old reality programming.” Everybody around the table lets out a small, slightly stifled laugh.

“People come to the show for all sorts of reasons. To find love they couldn't find elsewhere. To find acceptance in a difficult dating world full of designation politics and complicated social dances.” Teddy turns down the table, his eyes falling on Lysander.

“Lysander was desperate to find somebody who would love him, not his money,” he proclaims flatly—some of the table guests squirming in their seats at the bluntness of the assertion.

“Ronan was looking for a family that wouldn’t slip through his fingers again—for someone who would see him before they saw his scars, to get to know him before they would assume they knew his story.”

“Ash was looking for someone who could appreciate Ash Dressaliers, not DJ KR3OSOTE,” Teddy continues his rotation, Ash nodding in solidarity.

“Mavren, a consummate workaholic. Decided to get out of his own way and to find somebody who loved him independently of his success; someone who would share in his vision—his dream, since he spends so much time bringing his passion to life; passions he wants to share with his packmates, with us.”

“Of course, Ursula—who had struggled to find somebody whom she deserves. Because so many of us have our heads so far up our own asses we don't know what's good for us—we don’t know what we want.” His eyes brim with tears as he looks pleadingly to the attendance of the table.

“I sure as hell didn't know what I wanted. I came on the show for all the wrong reasons. Well, not all wrong,” Teddy shoots a glance to his moms and sniffles—Mei crying softly again.

“I decided to go on the show to make some money, to get my name out there, to hope that this would translate into more roles at more auditions or even a temporary stint as a professional reality television show contestant,” Teddy admits, hanging his head.

“Work had started drying up for me. I hadn't gotten a part in months. I was doing daily stunt work, barely able to pay my rent. I had gotten used to my paychecks. To the safety they provided. The ability that they granted me to send money home to my moms who desperately needed the support financially.”

My ears start to ring slightly—a metallic taste spreading in the back of my mouth as if I’m about to faint as my brain struggles to catch up with what Teddy is saying.

Meesh covers her mouth with her hands, Dom half cups her hands over her ears as if she can block out his confession, Pol winces through their splayed fingers; hear no, see no, speak no evil.

“I thought I was going to show up and take this place by storm. Leave popular, with the next gig lined up, another payday. I went in not caring who I hurt or why.” He blinks his tears away and Isit—breathless—my hands clutching the edge of the table as if it might fall away—soft gasps issuing from others around the table—my brother Joshua moving, as if to stand from the table and fight.

---