Page 100 of Knot Just for Show

“That is strange,” I agree, my stomach turning over with a distinct malaise. “Teddy never mentioned anything about Anton, and I didn’t talk to Anton for long enough to hear about him and Teddy meeting in the pack lounges.”

On the tip of my tongue is a suggestion that we go take a seat with the other guys, to stop over analyzing things just because we’re at this stupid mandatory fun function—to just continue to enjoy one another’s company in this beautiful place before we are forced back into some semblance of everyday life. I don’t get the chance to do any of this though, because Lysander suddenly whips his panama hat off, tossing it into the sand—balling up his button down and tossing it into the overturned hat, his lithe form bolting over the sand for the water.

“What’s gotten into lil’ Sandy?” Ronan tips the brim of his own worn straw hat up and returns my drink to me as he leans over my shoulder, his hands finding my waist as he slithers in behind me.

“I have absolutely no idea…but I can tell you that I’m over this party already…I’m ready to blow this pop stand,” I grumble, leaning back into Ronan’s embrace before sucking down more of my melted libation.

“You think Kimmy and Timmy would spring us if I asked real nice?” Ronan purrs in my ear, his geranium-oakmoss scent green and lush, pressed this close to him.

“I have a feeling that they’re going to get paychecks directly proportional to the amount of bloodshed and spilled tea duringthis so-called ‘mixer’—so my money is onno,” I groan, leaning forward out of his arms as we gravitate back toward the beach loungers where we’ve left Ash and Mavren.

“You’re just too smart for your own good, Sugar—I hadn’t even thought of that,” Ronan laughs, taking the lead, offering me his hand—towing me along, reluctant though I am.

“It is fucking brutal in the sun—I’m ready for some shade.” I remove my hat and use its large, floppy brim to fan myself.

“Ope!” Ronan hiccups, coming to an abrupt stop, nearly causing me to walk directly into him.

“Hey what’s the big—” I lean to the side to get a peek, and almost yelp when I see Britt, along with her prospective pack—minus Anton of course, who is…having what appears to be a spirited conversation with Lysander and Teddy further down the beach.

Fuck me, shit’s about to go off the rails, isn’t it?

“Hey gurl!” Brittney waves at me—her plastic smile sparkling in the sun—her blonde hair in a high ponytail, her perky tits barely covered by the tiny triangles of pink lycra, her slim tanned body stretched out on the pool lounger bearing my name placard.

“Hi,” I manage to wheeze—all of the wind leaving my sails.

Mavren and Ash look more than slightly put out—Britt’s pack members stand uncomfortably around them—the banker, visibly embarrassed by her obvious display of disrespect, the two jocks looking longingly at a table full of beers and heavy appetizers, who couldn’t care less.

“Looks like Anton and Teddy are catching up,” Britt beams at me.

“Mmhmm, looks like that. Doesn’t it?” I smile back reluctantly—my eyes darting to Ash and Mavren, their postures loaded as if ready to spring away on my command, their facial expressions a portrait of disinterest.

“You know, the boys and I were just so surprised that both Teddy and Ash decided not to go to the pack reveal—I think Anton really took it hard, he and Teddy had really seemed to hit it off instantly.” Britt purses her lips in a baby pout. “And I had really thought Ash and I had a connection in the bubbles.” She moves to drape a hand over Ash’s forearm, but he pulls away—swinging his legs over and standing up off of the lounger in one fluid motion.

“I did enjoy chatting with you during our initial dates Britt,” Ash smiles mildly, his voice even.

“You liked my scent well enough,” Britt sneers, her sweet and light routine having failed—she goes straight to bitter and sharp.

“I ended up in a few lounges, and when it came time to make my decision—it wasn’t a difficult one. Ursula was the obvious choice.” Ash shoulders past Kurt, making his way over to Ronan and I, stepping slowly in the shifting sands, giving his back to Britt.

My heart swells with affection for Ash, defender of my honor. Taking a cue from Ash, Mavren begins to scoot off his own beach lounger, likely on his way to join us as well so that we can go and rescue Lysander and Teddy from whatever the hell is going on down by the water.

“Yeah well, I bet you would have chosen differently if you had known what you were missing.” Britt sneers under her breath.

My breath catches—and for a moment, I feel a red hot burst of humiliation tear through me. There she is—perfect, tall, tanned, blonde, a literal model—flawless. Here I am—a short, round, scarred, stretch-marked failed jazz singer turned makeup artist. Of course, the only way I could have gotten these men to fall for me is if they never saw me. Now that they’ve seen all these gorgeous women they could have chosen instead—I’ll be left alone, just like I was before.

Except…none of that is actually true.

Well, Britt is a model, and she is blond. I am short, round, scarred, stretch-marked, and so close, yet so far from my original dream, but I didn’t fool these men into falling in love with me with some kind of bull-shittery or witchcraft. I made them fall in love with me, the real me.

Each of them made me fall just as hard.

Mavren, Ronan, Lysander, Ash, and Teddy too—they’d all seen me and had the opportunity to check out, a get out of jail free pass to ditch the girl who didn’t match what you’d imagine—all of them had stayed.

And they hadn’t just stayed, they had begun to explore me, explore each other—all of us becoming more than what we had been before we began to form our pack.

Pack Gold.

Now that my pack had seen these other women—they were gathering aroundme, standing behind me, to show Britt just how wrong she was.

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