Page 46 of Love Me Fearless

Chapter Twelve

Once inside my house,I spin the deadbolt, then slump against the door.

I’m relieved and a little proud of how I stood up for myself, but it’s short-lived.

What the hell was he getting at? Why is he doing this to me?

Like I would jump at the chance to be his first-ever girlfriend experiment. This is my heart we’re talking about.

You could come with me.

He’s out of his fucking mind.

I’m not leaving Finn River a year into starting my practice, especially not so I can sit around in some military housing unit alone while he lives the exciting life of a pararescue operative. And he’s certainly not giving up that life to stay in Finn River to be with me. He lives for those high-stakes rescues. Giving everything of himself to save others turns his crank like nothing else.

But that’s not even the hardest piece to fit together.

Hutch is a player. And while he is the best I’ve ever had, knowing how many other women have shared his bed makes me want to claw my face off. How am I supposed to compete with his endless cravingfor the new and exciting? I’m just Ava, same flavor every day of the week. No way will I possibly be enough for him.

My nose stings with a rush of emotion I can’t contain any longer. Tears blur my eyes as I autopilot through my bedtime routine, ignoring my puffy reflection in the mirror. When I crawl into my big bed, my limbs are heavy and my heart is like a restless ghost, wanting what she can’t have.

I pullinto a parking space across the street from Love Buzz and check my face in the rearview mirror. Thanks to my intermittent sleep last night, or maybe it was the fit of useless crying under the covers, I needed a heavy dose of concealer just to look presentable for my blind date this morning.

It’s just coffee, I tell my reflection.

Love Buzz is on the corner of Main and 4th, with big windows and creaky wood floors. I’m just pulling open the door when my dad steps out dressed for work, a tall paper mug in his chapped hands.

“Ava,” he says, giving me a soft smile.

“Hey, Pop.” I’m not exactly surprised to see him here. He’s the reason Love Buzz is my favorite coffee shop too.

He pulls me into a one-armed hug, his starchy uniform shirt rough on my cheek. “Meeting your friends?”

Yesterday, when I joined him and Mom for breakfast, I purposely did not bring up my blind date this morning, but it’s not like I can lie to him about it now. “Um, a new friend, maybe.”

He frowns, his gaze flicking left, right. “Need me to stick around?”

I bristle. “Dad, no. I can take care of myself.”

His mustache twitches as he deliberates, but then he huffs a sigh. “All right.”

I kiss him on the cheek, then he continues on his way.

Inside Love Buzz, I’m hit with bold scents of coffee and theinviting whirr from the machines. I’m just joining the back of the line when a tall man with thick brown hair enters. His eyes meet mine and he smiles.

“Ava?” he asks.

“Hi.”

“Chris,” he says, extending his hand.

We shake, and he steps into line next to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I continue my casual assessment. He’s maybe six feet tall, lean build, like a runner. He’s rolled up his dress shirt to mid-forearm, revealing a geometrical-shaped tattoo framing a rugged mountain.

No red flags so far.

“What’s good here?” he asks as we move forward in line.

“Are you a coffee drinker?”

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