Page 45 of Love Me Fearless

“Damn it!” Ava says, panting against me. Her eyes flash with confusion in the darkness. “Hutch, what’s going on?”

I know I should let her go. But hasn’t that been my problem all along? I don’t want to let her go. I didn’t want it that night, and I don’t want it now.

How can I be what she needs so she doesn’t run again?

“Tell me why you bailed.” Everything is so bottled up inside me. I’m angry and frustrated and horny and sad and restless as fuck and it’s driving me crazy.

Her eyes turned pained. “Because that’s how things always end with you.”

“So it’s because of my past.”

“Yes.”

I close my eyes and rest my forehead against hers.

“But it’s also because of me,” she says softly. “What I want from a relationship.”

I huff a frustrated sigh. “And you’re so sure I can’t give it to you?”

She caresses the side of my face. Our eyes lock in the darkness. “We both know the answer to that.”

Ava’s always had her goals, from medical school and opening her own practice to starting a family of her own with someone willing toput down roots in Finn River. It’s a plan she’s talked about since we were kids.

Serving my country to the best of my abilities has been my goal since the day Dad took me to work when I was ten years old. The year before he left. That I qualified for pararescue and made it through training is the highest honor, and though I live for the adventure of my job, it’s something I don’t take for granted.These things we do, that others may liveis not just some motto scrawled on a bumper sticker. It’s the code I live by.

“We were good together, Greely. Admit it.”

A flicker of a smile tugs at her lips. “Not bad for one night.”

My heart does a cartwheel. “Maybe we could try to make it last a little longer next time?”

The playful edge in her expression vanishes. “There’s not going to be a next time.”

“Why couldn’t there be?”

She places a hand on my chest, right over my heart. “Because the last time we tried, it nearly broke us for good, and I don’t want that again.”

“What if I wanted to try again,” I say, the words thick in my throat.

Her body releases a shiver. “Hutch,” she sighs. “What happens when your mom gets better? You’ll get orders to some exotic rescue base and you’ll be gone so fast I’ll be lucky if I get to say goodbye.”

“You could come with me.”

She slips from my embrace, shaking her head. “No. Hutch, don’t. We aren’t doing this. You don’t want that.”

“How do you fucking know?” I huff a breath to calm my rattled nerves. “Shit. Sorry.” This is the exact reason I don’t do this kind of thing. Not only do I suck at it, the rejection is fucking unbearable.

“I’m going home,” she says, and disappears into the darkness.

I stare up at the infinite stars as the cool air pricks my hot skin. “Wait up. I’m gonna follow you home.”

“You don’t have to,” she says, her tone heavy.

“I want to.”

She doesn’t answer, but she waits in her car for me to douse the last of the fire and climb into the truck. I should be driving home with her next to me, her hand in mine, then carrying her to bed so I can prove to her that we belong together. Maybe it’s not perfect right now, with our careers in such direct opposition, but that doesn’t mean it can’t change. Just because I don’t have it all planned out doesn’t make it impossible.

How can I make her believe in us?

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