Page 109 of Love Me Fearless

Her eyes cloud with confusion. “Well, you’re leaving, and she’s…staying.”

I focus on turning down our driveway because this conversation is making my head hurt.

“Don’t leave her in the dark, Rye. That’s not fair.”

“You’re right.”

I park next to the minivan belonging to one of our 4H volunteers and usher Mom inside. Beth will be home soon, but I fix Mom a cup of tea with a dash of honey, my thoughts going round and round with the spoon.

Inside my room, I throw a change of clothes and my running gear into my pack, then pause at the entrance to the kitchen. Mom’s sorting canning lids on the kitchen table, her brow furrowed in concentration.

I decide not to disrupt her flow. After pushing off from the doorway, I slip outside. The cooling afternoon air dances across my skin as I hurry to the truck and jump in. Lowering the window as I drive to let in the clean, fresh air, Troy’s words flash through my mind.

I thought I had more time.

Haven’t I secretly been thinking the same thing about Ava? That I’ll have more time to make room for her in my life?

I don’t want to hold back anymore. I don’t want to wait to love her, cherish her, care for her. Time spent waiting is time I’m fucking wasting.

But it takes two to tango. What if Ava’s stubbornness keeps her from letting me in?

I think of my crew gearing up for deployment. Not just the extra hours training, but the thrill that comes from packing up a life to move across the ocean. The anticipation of fulfilling a purpose. A part of me yearns for it, but what’s the cost?

When I pull into Ava’s driveway, a cold flush dances over my skin.

Her car’snot here.

She should be home by now. I park and whip out my phone.

Waiting for her to answer, I tap the steering wheel and scan her yard and house like it has the answers. “Pick up, Ava,” I mutter. When her voicemail kicks on, I hang up and send her a quick text.

Where are you?

I wait a few seconds, but there’s no reply. I call Everett.

“Hey, Hutch. What’s up?”

“Ava’s not home.”

“What? I escorted her there an hour ago.”

Panic pricks my chest. “She isn’t answering her phone.”

“Do you know her plans?”

“I’m meeting her here. We’re supposed to go for a run.”

“Can you get inside the house?”

“I don’t have a key to her deadbolt.”

“Okay. Stay put. I’m going to cruise to her office. Maybe she went back for something. I’ll get Zach on this too. I will call you back.” He doesn’t bother to say goodbye.

I sit there as an icy buzz rattles up my spine.

Something’s wrong.

I dial Sofie’s number.

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