Page 86 of Love Me Fearless

Vivian cradles her cup, her eyes sparkling. “Did you happen to get those ones with cinnamon cocoa on the outside and vanilla cream on the inside?”

“You know it,” Sepp says, whipping out napkins.

“Thank you, Sepp,” I say, digging in the bag for a donut hole. To my delight, they’re still warm. “This is so sweet.”

He settles into his chair next to Vivian with his coffee and logs into his computer. “Sweet for the sweet.”

I pop the donut hole into my mouth, then take a slow sip of the coffee. Glory Holes always has the best French roast, and after being kept up half the night by a farm hand with the world’s most incredible cock, the extra caffeine is going to do me good. It’s only when I drop my coffee off in my office that I rememberChris’s text.

Wincing, I type out a quick reply.

Forgive me but an old friend came into town for a few days. Can I catch the next one?

His reply zips back almost immediately, as if his phone was already in his hands.

Sure thing

I heave a sigh of relief, then silence my phone and set it on my desk. But as I head into the exam room, I realize how unfair this is.

Whether Hutch leaves tomorrow or a week from now, I won’t be capable of going on a date with someone new. I’ll be lucky to get out of bed. Before heading into the exam room, I place my hand over my heart and force in a series of breaths.I’m sorry, I tell her.I should have listened to you.

By the endof the day, the worries I’ve pushed aside feel like little knives poking at the edge of my thoughts. Once I’m in my car, I decide it’s time to call in reinforcements. Sofie picks up on the second ring.

“Hey!” she says, sounding so cheerful. “I was just about to call you. Dad says Julip and Cocoa are getting sassy. I was thinking we could take them on a trail ride on Saturday.”

Under normal circumstances, I would jump at this opportunity. “That sounds fun.”

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“Hutch and I…” The rest of the words get stuck in my throat. “I told myself I wasn’t going to do this again, but…”

“Oh, honey,” Sofie says.

“I can’t seem to walk away.”

“Do you want to?”

“No. Maybe?”

“Have you talked about it?”

A dry chuckle crawls up my throat. “Not exactly.”

The line buzzes with a heavy silence. “How can I help?”

“Be there to put me back together when he leaves.”

“Oh Aves, you know I’m always here for you.”

I heave a heavy sigh.

“I’m taking Curren to the park in a little bit. Jesse and Skye are coming too. You want to join us?”

My heartstrings give a tender little twang. Being around my friends and their littles is good medicine. “I might stop by. I have an errand to run first.”

“Okay. Hang in there, yeah?”

“Yeah.” We end the call and I start my engine, then pull out of the parking lot. After stopping at the corner farm stand on the way to the cemetery for a pretty bouquet, I drive beneath the arch and follow the narrow, quiet drive to the section where Marin is buried.

---