“You planning on having any of your own with Brooke?”
I snort. “Not at this rate. I’m pretty sure I can’t.”
Skyler raises an eyebrow. “That’sstilla problem? Levi, I saw the hole that got blown into you, and it sure as hell didn’t rid you of your balls. What’s going on?”
I take a long pull on my beer. “I don’t know. I’m afraid of letting Brooke down…maybe? Or I’m afraid I can’t be the same kind of lover I used to be. It was amazing before Afghanistan, but since then, I can’t…oh crap.” I drag my hand over my face in frustration and feel the unwanted sting of tears looming. “I’m self-conscious because I’m all scarred up, but worse…I have visions of making love to her and then in the middle of things, something might trigger me—like a car backfiring, and I’ll lose it. The house creaking, or a flashback, or any of a million other things. I just can’t…uh…find myself. You know? I can’t get it up for her anymore! And that scares the shit out of me.”
“I doubt the scars would faze Brooke unless she’s worried about hurting you. But…sonothinggets you hard? Have you been to a urologist? Or a shrink?”
“I haven’t wanted to see anyone because I keep thinking it’ll go away. But I’m also afraid to try too hard in case it doesn’t work, and we’ll be disappointed. The only…uh…semiI’ve had was a few minutes ago when I saw you hugging Brooke. God, I can’t believe I admitted that.” I take another gulp and drain my beer. Skyler has always gotten me to open up like no one else could—even Brooke, if I’m honest with myself. Probably why I’ve avoided his calls for so long. I just couldn’t bring myself to discuss anything with him, and I knew he’d get it out of me. And now he has.
“Huh. Interesting,” he tells me with an inscrutable look on his face. Then he gazes out the window at our typical urban neighborhood with small to medium houses. Some are in fair shape like ours, and others look like crap. He turns back to me and surprises me by asking, “So what’s this neighborhood like on the Fourth of July?”
Humorlessly, I snort. “Deafening. I hate it. Any day now, the neighbors will start shooting off cherry bombs and firecrackers and keep them going for as long as a month afterward. I’m sure this year I’ll want to hide under the bed like a three-year-old who’s afraid of monsters, and I’m scared I’ll flip out and accidentally hurt someone.”
Brooke comes back in then with a couple sacks that smell delicious. My stomach rumbles. “Meatball subs?” I ask her.
“Yes, among other things. I wasn’t sure what you guys were in the mood for, so I bought some choices, but the meatballs are hot, so I’d recommend those, and I can refrigerate the cold sandwiches for later.” She sets down the bags and grabs some plates and napkins.
“Sounds delicious,” I tell her. “Thanks, babe.” I look at Skyler and grin. “No mushrooms, I promise.” He looks relieved. “But I like to sprinkle these hot peppers on mine.”
Chapter
Seven
Skyler
“I wantto tell you two about something you might find interesting,” I say this between bites of a spectacular sandwich. “This is delicious, Brooke. Thank you!” I down some water and begin my sales pitch for what might just nudge Levi out of his mental issues…at least somewhat.
“The Fourth of July is just around the corner, and I understand how someone suffering from PTSD reacts to the noise of fireworks. I dread being around them myself. Some of our dogs also hated them when I was growing up.
“Several years ago, Madison Lassiter, the sister of our recently retired Governor Lassiter, who started his political career—as you probably have heard—as the mayor of Honeybee Hollow, went to a fancy Independence Day party given by that famous author Gunnar Dahl. Rumor has it she met her husband at that party too. He’s Dahl’s younger brother and pretty famous himself. But I digress. Madison and Tanner Lassiter were the children of Honeybee Hollow’s town veterinarian, and Dr. Lassiter had been trying to get an ordinance in the town for yearsbanning fireworks because they were so upsetting to the local pets and the wildlife in the surrounding mountains.
“So when Madison saw that Gunnar Dahl had this huge celebration withsilentfireworks, she got her brother to work really hard to get the town to adopt the noiseless fireworks displays. All we can buy there is stuff like sparklers for private use, but Tanner secured a grant that’s good for I don’t know how long—probably at least fifty years—so the town itself has a celebration of beautiful fireworks that are silent. It’s fantastic. First, there’s a big community party in the middle of the high school football stadium with games and stuff for the kids, and sometimes the school band will play, or the school glee club will sing together with some of the church choirs to entertain everyone. It kinda depends on who’s available each year. Then, when it’s finally dark, we have this amazing silent fireworks display that’s synchronized with music. Everyone can have a good seat to watch from and be safe. It’s loads of fun and really patriotic, and it’s probably one of the best places in the country to celebrate.”
“Wow, how wonderful!” Brooke exclaims.
Levi gives me a thoughtful look. “There’s fishing, you say?”
I laugh and nod. “Yeah, there’s a good-sized creek at the edge of my property that separates my land from the neighbor’s. We have catfish, bluegill, bass, and trout that are so delicious, you won’t believe it. I think the two of you need to take some time and get out of town. Come back with me to Honeybee Hollow, at least over the Fourth, and stay as long as you like. I have a big old rambling farmhouse that was built by my grandparents, and I get awfully lonely in it by myself. It’s a far cry from living in Army barracks, that’s for sure, but there’s way more room than I need. And don’t worry, Brooke. I have excellent Wi-Fi if you need to keep working.”
Brooke looks at Levi and quirks an eyebrow. “It sounds amazing. When can we leave?”
“I…uh…well, I guess a change of scenery couldn’t hurt. How soon do you want to head back, Skyler?”
“It’s a long enough drive that I’d like to wait at least until tomorrow.”
“Of course,” he tells me. “When we’re done eating, you can bring your stuff in, and we’ll put you up in the spare room. It’s kind of a combination bedroom and office for Brooke, but it has a comfortable bed.”
Brooke leans over and plants a kiss on Levi. “This is the best thing I’ve heard since we got back from Maryland.” She looks at me. “What kind of clothes should we pack?”
I laugh. “It’s a pretty casual town. Whatever you’re comfortable in is best. If you want to go out to hear music and dance or sing karaoke, you can bring something for that, but there are a bunch of local boutiques that the ladies seem to love, so maybe you’d prefer to find something there. Oh, and pack a bathing suit. I have a hot tub out back. It wasn’t there when Granny and Pawpaw lived there.” I can’t help chuckling at the mental image of my grandparents in a hot tub. “It was my addition.”
Brooke looks at Levi and says with a smile, “I bet a hot tub will make your hip feel better.”
He nods and grumbles, “Yeah, but I won’t be dancing much. I’ll leave that to Skyler if you feel the need.”
Chapter