Page 50 of Buddy System

“No. She tried to come to work, but she wasn’t supposed to be there.” I remember back to something I’ve heard—that lawyers shouldn’t ask questions unless they know they’re going to like the answer. I try not to smirk.

“Were you upset with her?”

Now I see why he’s asking. “Somewhat. I was upset that she was bothering us when she wasn’t supposed to be there.”

“So you took it out on her and refused to pay her for her time, even though she was there out of the goodness of her heart?”

“She never got around to doing any work, and I didn’t take anything out on her. I merely told her to stop saying rude things to my guests, or I’d fire her.”

“So you threatened her?”

“I did not threatenher. I threatened tofireher. And for a good reason.”

“So you admit you were angry, and you threatened her. No further questions.”

As the plaintiff’s lawyer returns to his seat beside Mrs. Henshaw, my lawyer steps up to the plate. “Skyler, what kind of work did Mrs. Henshaw do for you?” he asks.

“When I first moved home, I couldn’t do very much because my right arm was in a sling from my injury in Afghanistan. She provided housekeeping services and did some cooking for me until I could do things better myself. It was always going to be a temporary position.”

“And were you satisfied with her work?”

“Yes and no. She kept the house looking good, but she’s an atrocious cook.”

Mrs. Henshaw lets out a huge gasp. She looks ready to pop. Several muffled laughs echo through the courtroom.

“Did you eat her cooking?”

“I tried for a while, but she wouldn’t pay attention to my instructions and kept fixing these awful vegetarian dishes full of lima beans, kale, or brussels sprouts, no matter what I said. I’m normally not picky, but she kept insisting on putting mushrooms in everything, and that was the one thing I told her I’d never eat. So I finally just waited for her to leave and ordered take-out meals to be delivered from Sock Hop and stuff like that.I actually asked her finally to stop cooking, so she brought food she’d made from home.”

“So she was kind enough to provide food for you?”

“If you can call that a kindness. I threw the food away because no one in their right mind would want it. I guess she thought I was eating it because I returned her empty dishes all the time.”

“Alright, well, I guess it’s fine that everyone has different tastes in food. Were you happy with the housework she did for you?”

“She did alright.”

“But you say the position was meant to be temporary. You planned to terminate the job all along, isn’t that right?”

“Yes.”

“So tell us once more what prompted you to terminate her job on a day when she showed up uninvited at your home.”

“I didn’t expect her that day. I had guests, and she was rude to them. She kept butting into our conversation and trying to push everyone around like it was her house and she made the rules. I wasn’t feeling well because I had a migraine, so I told her it was time for her to leave permanently. That was it. I never said anything threatening to her other than she was about to be fired if she didn’t leave my friends and me alone. She wouldn’t stop, so…that was it.”

My lawyer takes a pause, looking pensive, and then asks, “Can you tell us what happened later that evening?”

“Yes, my mother stopped by and asked me why Mrs. Henshaw was going around town telling people that I was a terrible, scary dude who’d threatened her life, I ran around half-naked in front of her, and I’m having financial trouble.” I leave out the part about Levi being my boyfriend.

“Is any of that true?”

“Well…sort of true.” There is a lot of murmuring in the courtroom that prompts the judge to ask for order.

“Which part is true, Skyler?”

“I was sleeping when she first arrived, and I didn’t know she was there. Since I was suffering from a migraine and feeling dehydrated, I came out to the kitchen to grab a Gatorade from the refrigerator. I was only wearing boxer briefs. I was shocked to find her in my house. I’d never been undressed around her. I would never have done that had I known she was there.”

And that’s about all the time we have for the first day. So much of what happened was just time-wasting on the plaintiff’s part. I’m anxious for this fiasco to be over, but Hamilton tells me as we head out, “I think it’s going well, so get a good night’s sleep and be ready for some interesting testimony tomorrow. You’ll be fine.”

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