Page 3 of Buddy System

“Well, yes.” She’s blushing. “Those things.”

“He luckily didn’t have any major damage to his intestines or other organs. So don’t worry, he won’t need to poop in a bag, and we’ll get rid of the catheter as soon as he’s ambulatory. As far as sex goes, it isn’t going to happen right away. I’m sure there issignificant pain right now, and his muscles will need to restore to their previous strength, but his penis and testicles will work just fine.”

“How long?” she asks. I can’t bring myself to look at him.

“That’s hard to say. We’ll see how he does in physical therapy. Everyone is different in how quickly they heal. I want to stress to you that the men we worry about in this regard are the ones who’ve had actual trauma to their bladder or genitals. Those men may end up unable to urinate normally or achieve an erection due to scar tissue that we can’t do much about. We also worry about ruptured intestines. That kind of injury can lead to infection quickly.”

“But not Levi?”

He smiles gently at her. “Your husband will make an excellent recovery. The lost bone and muscle will regenerate. Both of you just need to have patience. Often men with this level of injury re-enlist for another tour because they heal so well, but that’s entirely up to the two of you.” He looks at Brooke and then at me and asks, “Do you have any more questions?”

I don’t, and I sure as hell have no desire to go back into combat. I also think he’s wrong; I’m pretty sure my dick is dead. Serves me right.

“No, I’m clear about things now. Thank you.” Brooke has better manners than I have. She smiles at him as he turns to leave.

As soon as the door closes, I grit my teeth and tell her the truth. “He’s wrong.”

“What are you talking about, Levi? You’ll be out of commission for a while because of your shattered pelvis, but they were able to repair it, and you’ll get better. You’re going to be fine.”

“You don’t know that. I might never be able to…you know…perform.”

“Levi! You’re looking at the worst-case scenario. Yes, the doc explained that some men have lasting problems, but he saidyouhad no damage there. You’ll be fine.”

“I’m not fine. I can’t feel anything.”

“Levi, honey, give it time. You’ll be back to normal. It’s not like a simple pelvic fracture—yours was shattered. You have tiny bone fragments that still need to fuse, and you have surgical trauma. I have faith. You need a little. But even if it never works, I still love you, and you’re still my husband. I’m not going anywhere.” She gives me a thoughtful look and asks, “Have you talked to a therapist?”

“No.” They offered to send one in, but I declined. I don’t need someone telling me to cheer up.

“Maybe you ought to. But listen, your parents should be here in an hour or two. They’ve also been worried sick, and your dad’s been hollering at everyone he could think of to find out anything about you. Why didn’t you contact them? Or me? Surely you had access to a phone at some point.”

Why is she being so nice to me about this? She ought to be pissed off and yelling at me because I know I should have called. I’m a loser, and she needs someone a lot better. Someone brave like my buddy Skyler. I wonder how he’s doing. I’m afraid to ask, but I know one thing for sure, if Skyler hadn’t been on top of me when the roof caved in, I’d be dead. I’m just sorry he took so much of the brunt of the collapse. He looked awful when our rescuers dragged him off of me, and I haven’t seen him since we ended up in the hospital. I should have tried harder to locate him, but I was too into my own issues, I guess. Instead of answering Brooke, my mind goes down a rabbit hole thinking about Skyler Colfax—the most amazing friend I’ve ever had—besides Brooke, of course.

She’s still talking, and I’m not listening until I hear, “Levi? Did you hear me?”

“Oh, uh. No. Sorry. Actually, my ear on this side doesn’t work as well as the other.” That’s a pretty lame excuse. It rings a lot, but it’s getting better.

She blinks and speaks up a bit. “I said I need to go rent a car and check in at the Fisher House. They have a free place for me to stay because of you being a patient here, and they’re expecting me soon. It sounds nice—with good Wi-Fi, a kitchen, and everything I’ll need to cook, if you want me to make any of your favorite foods.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

Her jaw drops. Maybe that was the wrong question. I see tears in her eyes again, and she’s struggling to not cry. “What?” she whispers.

“I’m a useless asshole, and you’re planning to bring me things I like to eat. I don’t get it.”

“Levi, you’re not thinking straight. I’m guessing you’re on pain meds, and you’re probably still in a good deal of pain, so I’m going to ignore most of what you say for a while if it’s all the same to you. Your parents might be kind of emotional when they get here. This has been hard on them too, you know.”

My heart breaks a little as I watch her trying to keep it together, so I reach out to her. “I’m sorry, Brooke. I’m sorry I’ve failed everyone, and I’m sorry I scared you and my parents. It’s a lot to deal with, you know? They’re alldead.” She flinches at that word as my voice cracks. “I was in charge of them, and everyone but Skyler and I got mowed down like worthless junk. I can’t stop thinking oftheirloved ones now. I was responsible for them.”

“I’m sure you did everything you could to keep them safe and follow orders. It’s not in your makeup to do anything else. And I’m happy and relieved to hear that Skyler is alive. I was honestly afraid to ask.” She squeezes my hand gently. “Levi, I love you so much. I’m proud of you and know you’re not a failure. Whateverhappened was not because you made a mistake. You must have had bad orders, or there was a breakdown somewhere. Were you ambushed?”

“Something like that. I can’t talk about it.”

“I’m so sorry. I know how hard you always try to do your best.”

“This was a giant fuck-up, and good mendied. I’d have died too if Skyler hadn’t protected me.”

Brooke stays with me long enough to make sure I’ve calmed down some, then makes her excuse that she has an appointment at this place that’s giving her housing for a while. I wonder how long it’ll be before she gives up and goes home. I can’t stomach my own company, so I sure can’t understand how she does.

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