Page 16 of Buddy System

While we’re getting set up, Skyler says, “I’ve always meant to ask you, how did you meet Brooke?”

“Oh, uh…” I try not to look embarrassed. “During one of our block leaves, I was babysitting Lulu for Kate when she had a doctor’s appointment, and we ran out of snacks. So I took Lulu to the market and ended up buying a whole bunch of crap. By the time I made it to the parking lot, Lulu was having a meltdown because it was way past her naptime, and I couldn’t get her into the car seat. While I was struggling with her, my shopping cart rolled away, and this lovely, helpful angel ran and got it and brought it back before it crashed into someone’s car. Then she talked Lulu down out of her fit while I unloaded the cart. I had a terrible time convincing her I wasn’t some scatterbrained new dad, and I was only the scatterbrained uncle. She finally agreed to having dinner with me when she heard Lulu call me Uncle Levi.”

He cracks up and says, “Smooth. Why didn’t I ever know this before?”

“I dunno, but hey…she married me! So I couldn’t have been that awful.”

After his laughter peters out, Skyler lapses into silence. We’ve been fishing for a while with no bites at all, but he doesn’t seem too focused on catching anything. He clearly has something on his mind. He starts to speak a few times and then stops himself. After a long silence, he finally asks me, “Why did you jump in front of me?”

A chill runs down my spine despite the heat of the day. “In Afghanistan?” I ask like a dope. Of course that’s what he means, and I’m stalling. I hate thinking about that day. And I hate that I can’t stop thinking about it.

He turns and looks at me with those expressive eyes of his. “Yes, Levi. In Afghanistan. The shooter was mowing peopledown, and you took it upon yourself to shieldme. I’m happy you did it but…why?”

My hands start to shake, so I quickly reel in my line and grab a gulp of beer while he patiently waits for my answer. “I’ve thought about that day a million times. I had to do it. It was like everything was in slow motion after we got in there and realized it was an ambush. That little shit blasted holes in the two guys at the other end of the room before he even made it through the door, and he was working his way toward us. I saw that your rifle was on the ground for some reason, and I knew you couldn’t defend yourself. I instantly thought of what it would be like to go home without you…” My voice catches, and I stop for a moment. I have to clear my throat before I can go on. “Instinct took over. I jumped in front of you, hoping like hell you didn’t shoot me in the back by mistake, and I started firing. I know I made a fuck-up of the whole thing because I should have shot sooner to possibly save more guys. They were caught off-guard because the shooter came in with his rifle spraying bullets, and the sun was right in their faces through the doorway. Even though the open door was blocking him from my view until he was pretty far inside…” I pause and take a breath so deep my chest hurts from it. “I feel like I killed them myself some days. It’s hard, Sky. It’s really hard to take.”

He nods at me and says softly, “I like it when you call me Sky.”

“That’s how I think of you in my head. I guess it kind of slipped out.”

“You know you don’t have to feel guilty about any of what happened.” He puts his arm around my shoulders, and it feels so good.

“Rationally, I know that, but my heart has a hard time with it.”

Skyler looks pensive a moment and adds, “My PT guy here in town hooked me up with an online therapist who really helps me with the memories and nightmares. The guy is terrific. I’ll give you his contact information if you think you’d like to talk to him. If not, I won’t bug you about it. But you should also know he encouraged me to drive over to your place and seek you out. He thought seeing you would be healing. He’s not wrong.”

I nod and tell him, “Thanks. I should probably talk to him. I just haven’t been ready. You know?” I turn to look him in the eye and ask, “So why was your gun on the ground?” I’m sorry I turned toward him because his arm slips away, and I miss it immediately.

“I was adjusting my headset. It was loose and kept bugging me. I guess that was a bad move, but obviously, I didn’t have any idea we were going to be shot at right then.”

“No, it makes sense, and the headset was crucial in the long run. You got the rescue party to us as quickly as possible.” I place a hand on his shoulder and say, “Thank you for sticking with me and bringing us down here. I’m not sure Brooke and I were going to work the way things were going. I know I was being an asshole to her. And I apologize for shutting you out. I just felt like such a worthless shit. I was afraid to face you, even as much as I missed your company. Even though you seemed pretty cool when I saw you at Walter Reed, I was still scared you’d think more about that day and blame me for the other guys, and as long as I didn’t have to hear it from you, it might not be true.”

“Well, I can’t tell you how to feel, but I can tell you that I certainlydon’tblame you for what happened, and I doubt Brooke would leave you for any reason. She’s crazy about you. You’re a lucky man, Levi. She’s special for sure.”

“You want to fuck her?”

Skyler’s eyes widen. “Levi! Knock it off. Just because I can give her a compliment doesn’t mean I’m trying to steal your wife.”

“I know that. You’re the best friend there is. But I think seeing you and Brooke together would be amazing.”

“What are you saying? Youwantus to get it on so you can…watch?”

“I wouldn’t say no to that.” He stares at me wide-eyed, so I continue. “Look, the reason I got hard the other night was because I was thinking about Brooke being with you. That’s the first time I’ve managed to come since before we were deployed.”

“Well, shit.”

“Sky, I see you ogling her all the time. Tell me you haven’t fantasized about her.”

“Uh…”

“Right. You can’t. You want a piece of her. And I could talk her into it, I’m sure.”

“Jesus, Levi! I’m shocked. It’s just…I’m…”

“Just what? Are you actually more interested in someone else, and you just like looking at her?”

“Um…I’m totally attracted to Brooke, but…yeah, kinda. There is someone I sorta think about sometimes. Not that I know what to do about it.”

“Oh. That doesn’t sound like you. But…look, I didn’t know you had someone in mind already. Maybe you could just try to man up and say something. Sorry to butt in.”

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