Page 47 of Compelling Urges

Ivy stood, jumped up and down a couple of times, cranked her neck from side to side, shook her hands out, and took a deep breath like she was about to compete in an Olympic event.

“Is that helping?” asked Cooper who looked like he was trying not to laugh.

She huffed at him and announced, “I am not responsible for anything my mother says, okay?” She sat back down, scooted her phone in front of her and commanded, “Hey, Siri, call Mom and Dad.” Ivy immediately put it on speaker as they all heard it ring.

“Hello?” said a feminine voice after the third ring.

“Hi, Mom. How are you and Dad doing? I’m here with—”

“Ivy, sweetie! It’s good to hear from you. It’s been a while. We’re fine. Your dad’s knee’s been bothering him after he plays tennis, but other than that, we’re doing great. I think he needs to lose a few pounds and that knee of his would stop hurting.” They heard an audible sigh. “I had a call just yesterday from your sister. She’s… well, I think maybe she needed some money, and that’s why she called. She’s always been bad with budgeting—not like you at all. We were just bragging about you and your successful gallery to our friends Janie and Thomas, remember them? We had dinner together last week and they said to tell you hello…” The woman seemed able to talk without taking a breath. It would have been impressive, Ivy thought, if it weren’t so maddening.

Finally, Ivy interrupted her. “Mom, I’m getting married.”

“Well, yes, sweetie, you told me that a few months ago, and we couldn’t be happier. Have you finally decided on a date? Are you going to bring Cooper home to meet us one of these days? What kind of color scheme do you think you might want to have? Shall I look into reserving the country club for the reception? I’ll need to check to see when St. Paul’s is available for the service too. It’s much nicer than St. Luke’s. The church is always in demand, so I probably need to know a window of possible dates. There’s also always All Saints but I don’t really—”

“Mom, please slow down. I’m pretty sure we’re all getting married here in California, not in Chicago. And you should know I’m on the phone here with—”

“All?”she interrupted loudly. “Whatever are you talking about, Ivy? Are you thinking of having a double wedding with a friend? Those sound like fun, but I’ve never been to one I liked. It takes too much of the attention off the bride, and it’syourspecial day, after all. You only get married once—if you’re lucky, of course—and it ought to be perfect…”

Ivy looked at Bodhi and Cooper who were turning red in the face as they tried to be quiet and not laugh at Ivy’s frustration over her mother’s stream of consciousness delivery. She took a deep breath and interrupted, “I’m not having a double wedding with a friend.I’m marrying two men.”

There was complete silence on the other end of the conversation.

That was a first.

“Mom, remember when I told you about Bodhi—Cooper’s best friend and roommate?”

“That awful man who broke your heart? What about him?”

Bodhi immediately studied the contents of his coffee mug as if it held the secrets of the universe.

“Mom! Bodhi’s not awful at all. He’s been back from England now for quite a while, and we’ve… um… made up our differences. He’s actually quite an exceptional person. He, Cooper, and I all live together now, and we’re all happy.”

“Are you sure?” her mother asked in a shaky voice. “I don’t want you to get hurt again. And I certainly don’t want to think of you servicing two men at the same time. I think you ought to have more self-respect than that, young lady. What do they do—trade you back and forth?”

“Mom! They’re here on speakerphone with me.”

Another shocked silence. Two in one phone call. It was a family record. “Well, you could have warned me, you know,” Ivy’s mother chastised.

“I was trying to, but you kept interrupting me.”

“I never—!”

Cooper couldn’t stand it; he had to butt in. “Mrs. Chambers, this is Cooper. I want to assure you that Ivy’s self-respect is something Bodhi and I value. I’m sure as well as you do. We both love her with our whole hearts, but the fact is, Bodhi and I… um… also love each other. I hope you can accept that.”

There was a loud gasp.

Bodhi spoke up then and said, “I’m here too, Mrs. Chambers. Cooper’s right. We’re an equal triad, and we’ve never been happier. I can’t apologize enough for leaving the two of them when I was so messed up in the head about my feelings. I promise you, however, that IvyandCooper’s happiness is the most important thing in the world to me.”

“Well!” Ivy’s mom exclaimed. “Ivy, dearest, are you certain this is what you want for your life? It’s not just some strange thing they do out there in California, is it? It could just be a fad. My friend Linda’s son went to San Francisco for art school, and he turned into a hippie!”

Ivy began to laugh. “That was Ben, and he’s become such a successful artist, I’ve had two different shows featuring his work in my gallery, Mom. He’s a bit of an outlier in how he dresses, but I assure you, he’s taken seriously for his talent.” She rolled her eyes at her men. Then she got an idea. “Mom, I’m going to send you some information to read. It might give you a better idea of our commitment to each other. I’ll email you later today, okay?”

“Well, I suppose. It’s clear that whatever I say isn’t going to make much of a difference. You’re apparently more like your sister than I thought. She never listens to me at all and just look at the messes she’s gotten herself into—”

“Mom.”

“Just last week she was talking about adoptinganotherdog from the shelter, and she already has three of them—”

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