Page 23 of Compelling Urges

“What’s going on?” Cooper asked. “I heard the doorbell and voices…” He had a distinct what-the-fuck look on his sleepy face.

“No idea. Let’s find out,” Bodhi said grimly.

After introductions, Officer Prue announced to Bodhi, “A car that is registered to you was towed off of the Coronado Bridge earlier this morning. It’s in this impound lot where you can retrieve it.” He produced a card with an address and phone number on it and eyed Bodhi carefully as Bodhi took it with an incredulous expression. All of the color in Bodhi’s face seemed to have drained away as he waited for more information.

Officer Everts continued with the story in a kind but businesslike voice. “Witnesses saw the car pull off to the side and they reported that a woman stepped out. They described her as blonde and very thin, tall—maybe five-foot-nine or thereabouts. Given the high rate of suicides on that bridge, locals are quite vigilant about any suspicious behavior. Three different witnesses said they saw a man also pull up behind her and call out to her as she approached the wall. The woman, however, ignored his calls and climbed over the edge without looking back once and jumped to her death. I’m very sorry to have to tell you this. Do you know who she might be, and how she had your car? There was no ID on her body or in the car.”

A noise like a dying elephant roared out of Bodhi’s throat as he dashed to his old bedroom and wrenched the door open. The room was empty, which was no surprise.

Cooper ran after Bodhi and grabbed for him as Bodhi slumped to the floor. He put his arms around his buddy and let Bodhi cry into his chest.

“She killed my baby!” Bodhi hollered in agony. “And it was my fault, Cooper! I told her I didn’t want her and wasn’t attracted to her. Ohmygod, I killed them both!” He howled and gasped for breath as misery tore through his body.

Ivy also came out at that point and saw the devastation that used to be Bodhi sobbing in Cooper’s arms. She’d heard what Bodhi said and looked at Cooper with grief-filled eyes for an explanation. He jerked his head toward the officers in the living room.

Gradually, Bodhi stopped wailing and choking and calmed down enough to answer the officers’ many questions. Ivy and Cooper moved Bodhi to the couch where they could both hold onto him, and the story of how Blair came to live at the house unfolded for the officers’ benefit in fits and bursts.

One question had them all shrugging their shoulders. Officer Prue asked, “I take it the two of you were not sharing a bed. But how did you miss that Ms. Hendrix passed through here at some point during the night? She had to have gotten your car key at the very least. Are you an extremely sound sleeper?”

Shaking his head, Bodhi answered, “I let her borrow the car yesterday, and I forgot to get the key back from her with all of her usual drama going on. Either I slept through her walking by me, or she snuck out at some point while I was in the bathroom. That’s the only explanation I can give—oh, unless she climbed out the window. But that doesn’t seem like her style.”

“You never know,” intoned Officer Everts. “She had to climb over the bird spikes on the wall to jump off the bridge. She must have been pretty determined.”

“Bird spikes?” asked Ivy.

Everts answered, “A few years ago a committee formed to try to decrease the number of suicides on that bridge. They thought installing rows of long, sharp spikes on top of the bridge wall would deter the would-be jumpers. Unfortunately, all it did was make them jump sooner rather than sit on the railing a while and think about it. It didn’t work at all to deter them, and the numbers have remained constant. It’s sad. All it accomplished was keeping birds away.” He looked solemnly at Bodhi and asked, “May we take a look at her belongings? It’s possible she left a note somewhere.”

Sure enough, the bedroom window was open, and the screen lay on the ground just outside. She hadn’t been taking any chances that she’d be thwarted.

Even with the open window, Officer Prue asked with a screwed-up face, “What’s that smell in here?”

In unison, Bodhi, Cooper, and Ivy intoned disgustedly, “Blair’s perfume.”

They also noted that a piece of paper sat beside the bed, and on it were the handwritten words:

It’s better this way, darling.

No one knew what that meant other than she’d been determined to take her life for her own twisted reasons. Seeing it brought a new bout of crying and swearing by poor Bodhi. He’d just about reached his limit thinking about the poor innocent baby who’d been the victim of Blair’s insane reasoning.Just because she wasn’t a boy?he wondered.

“I know one thing for sure,” he rasped out. “I never want to be called ‘darling’ by anyone for the rest of my life.” He shuddered.

∞∞∞

The officers sifted through Blair’s belongings and didn’t come up with much of interest—except for one thing. They couldn’t find anything that gave them a clue to her background, but they found a small, partially full bottle of ipecac syrup hidden in the toe of a shoe.

Prue asked, “Why would a pregnant woman want to induce vomiting? This stuff is horrible. And why would she try to hide it?”

Bodhi plunked down on the bed and put his head in his hands. Everything was giving him a headache, and this was just one more reason to feel like his life was a crazy shitstorm. He looked up with red-rimmed eyes and answered shakily, “Yesterday Blair had an appointment with her OB-GYN, and I wanted to go with her to find out more about the baby and maybe hear the heartbeat.” He cleared his throat and took a fortifying breath as he thought to himself about the innocent baby girl that was no longer. With a break in his voice he continued, “She wasn’t too crazy about the idea, and I have absolutely no idea why. But… I was feeling fine yesterday until she handed me a horrible tasting cup of coffee. After one swallow, I threw the rest out, and shortly after that I got sick as a dog.” He sighed. “I think that’s your answer. She wanted me to stay home for some reason.” He scoffed, “She could have just put her foot down and said no. She didn’t have to try to poison me!” When another bout of grief struck him, he covered his face with his hands and shook silently.

Ivy looked thoughtful and wondered aloud, “That might have been what was in the small package she received the other day. I asked her what it was, and she told me it was ‘prenatal vitamins.’ I never saw her take anything with her meals, though, so it may have been the ipecac. It’s too bad the trash went out two days ago, or we’d be able to look at the packaging. It never occurred to me that she’d try to hurt Bodhi—she claimed to be deeply in love with him.” She paused and then added, “Though I will say, it seemed more like desperate fixation than love.”

After their search of the room was completed, Officer Everts asked, “Would you characterize the deceased as a depressed person? It’s hard to think what would drive a young, pregnant woman to take her own life.”

“More like bat-shit crazy and delusional than depressed,” Bodhi answered ruefully. “I know Blair had to have mental problems, and it was my intent to establish custody and raise the child on my own. The thought of her caring for a baby gave me chills. Maybe she was more maternal than I gave her credit for, but… I don’t know. She just never appeared to understand reality versus her own weird take on things. Obviously, she had no problem ending the baby’s life for her own bizarre reasons.” Tears began to pour down his face again. “I may not have loved her—or even liked her, but I’m really sorry she’s dead, and I can’t believe she’d do this. I feel so responsible.”

Regarding Bodhi sympathetically, Officer Everts said, “If you don’t mind me saying so, I think you might benefit from some grief counseling. A priest, a psychologist… some professional who’s used to this kind of thing. We can have a social worker call you with a recommendation if you need one.”

Bodhi nodded absently. It wasn’t even apparent whether the cop’s words penetrated his anguish.

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