Page 2 of Compelling Urges

“Do you think he used his full name because he thought we forgot it already?” Ivy asked. She was trying to be funny, but her voice cracked as she said it. “What a raging asshole! I told him I loved him, and this is how he treats me? And what’s this business about not knowing each other for very long? I can’t believe this; we’ve been dating for months!” Tears streamed down her face as she stared down at the note.

Cooper wrapped his strong arms around her. Ivy leaned into him and sobbed into his chest. For a moment, Cooper considered that his clean shirt would likely be covered in tears and snot when she was done, but he dismissed the concern almost as fast as he thought of it.What the hell,he thought. I’ll just change again. And honestly… she feels damn good in my arms.

“Let’s go sit down on the couch, Ivy. Here, let me grab you a cup of coffee.”

“I loved him,” she wept into his chest.

“Did he ever say it back to you?” Cooper asked thoughtlessly.

After a long sniffle, she answered hoarsely, “He usually changed the subject or said something funny to deflect.”

“Sounds like Bodhi. But up until he pulled this bullshit stunt today, I’d have bet my life on it that he loved you. He was always talking about you when you weren’t around.”

This brought on a new wave of sobs.

Cooper felt like crying, too, but kept his man card intact by being the comforter rather than the comforted.How could Bodhi do this?he wondered over and over. The idea of Bodhi being gone for good gutted him. The fact that he’d been secretive about it felt like pouring acid into the open wound. And that note… it was so casual. No remorse or concern. As if they hadn’t mattered to him at all.

Throughout the day, he and Ivy trashed the memory of her lover and his best buddy over and over in more and more creative ways. They ended up starving by the afternoon and headed out for a giant Mexican meal in the barrio. It was the best comfort food in the world. Cooper offered to get them margaritas.

“Oh, ugh. No thanks,” Ivy answered with a shudder. “I may never drink tequila again.”

∞∞∞

Cooper was exhausted both mentally and physically after the night of frivolity with Mindy/Mandy and the subsequent day of drama he’d had with Ivy, so they made it back to the house fairly early. Ivy had planned to drive her car home from there, but it turned out she didn’t feel much like being alone. Cooper immediately picked up on her reluctance to leave and offered to let her stay the night. She agreed without hesitation.

She was used to sleeping in Bodhi’s magnificent bed, but it felt huge, cold, and lonely now. After tossing and turning for a while, she wandered down the hall to Cooper’s room. She was tired of crying; she needed a diversion or some more of his company—something to occupy her thoughts. His door was ajar, so she stepped inside, but once through the threshold, Ivy found herself hesitating. She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted from Cooper.

Cooper and Bodhi were both athletic. They’d met each other when they joined a beach volleyball team during Cooper’s second year of law school and Bodhi’s last year of grad school. They soon discovered that they were both avid surfers, and they began to spend more and more time together. Eventually, they became roommates, renting an apartment together until Bodhi made enough money to buy the Del Mar house where they now lived—a three-bedroom house on a hillside above the water with a fantastic view of the ocean. It was convenient to both of their offices, and they were delighted with it. They each took a bedroom and turned the third into a home gym where they worked out when the surf was lousy.

Standing in the doorway, Ivy admired Cooper’s bare chest and his thick biceps—a beautifully toned surfer’s body. His hair gleamed with a hundred shades of red and brown when the sun hit it, but in the moonlight, it just looked soft and inviting. She’d always harbored a secret crush on Bodhi’s best friend, but of course, she knew enough to keep that to herself.

Creeping into the room, her toe knocked into one of the shoes Cooper had carelessly left in the middle of the floor. “Ow!” she exclaimed far more loudly than she intended. Cooper jolted upright with a startled look on his face. “I’m so sorry, Cooper,” Ivy said in an unnecessary whisper. She turned to leave and tripped over his other shoe. “Ow, oh crud.” She started to sniffle again. It was so typical of Cooper to leave his stuff laying around; she should have been more careful.

Seeing her retreating form, Cooper called out, “Ivy, come back. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” She turned to look at him, and he could see telltale streaks of tears on her cheeks glistening in the moonlight. She looked like an angel in her diaphanous nightgown. “Do you need some company tonight?” He held out a large hand toward her as if to draw her back to him.

It didn’t take any more encouragement than that. She sprinted to the bed, carefully hopping over the wayward shoes and pounced onto the bed just as Cooper drew down the covers for her to slide in. It felt perfect to snuggle into Cooper’s broad chest and feel his warm embrace anchoring her to him.

“I feel like I’ll shatter into a million pieces if you don’t hold me together right now,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

Cooper chuckled. “Holding you is no hardship, believe me.” In fact, he thought, holding Ivy did a lot to make him feel like his world was improving. He chanced a few kisses on the top of her head as she nestled into his bare chest.

And thus, it began. They spent more and more time together over the next days, weeks, and months, and they went from friends to lovers as naturally as breathing. Hugging and kisses on the cheek evolved into more and more passionate embraces, and when they finally had sex the first time, it was as comfortable as it was thrilling. They found in each other a hunger for going beyond the normal vanilla, and they soon incorporated toys and games. Sex was never routine for Cooper and Ivy.

They eventually professed their love to one another, and their affection was true and deep. However, neither admitted that Bodhi’s exit from their lives still left a gaping wound. They acted as if they were over it, but in truth, it still chafed and burned. Ivy rarely spoke of him, and Cooper only mentioned him now and then when he got a quick text from Bodhi. They did invoke his name, however, in a little game they played. It was meant as an insult… possibly.

Cooper secretly worried thathewas the real reason Bodhi left. Had Bodhi gotten sick of his moony-eyed glances? Did he want to get away from Cooper’s weird fixation on him? Did he catch sight of his ill-timed boners now and then? Cooper had tried to hide them, and one time when it was painfully obvious, he’d laughed it off by explaining he’d been thinking about his last date. Lies. All lies. But the attraction never made any sense to Cooper; he’d been one hundred percent heterosexual until Bodhi came into his life. Now…? The confusion was compounded by Bodhi’s abandonment. Cooper’s solution was to bury his need and throw himself completely into making Ivy feel cherished.

Bodhi was gone. Ivy was here. Cooper needed to feel complete with that knowledge, so that’s what he told himself to do.

Chapter 2

A year later

Cooper held up a sparkling ring as he knelt in the sand. Around them, the sky was streaked with hues of pink, purple, and orange in the glorious sunset. It was the perfect setting for his proposal.

But before Cooper could pop the question, a large wave crashed over them. The heirloom ring was swept from his hand by the frigid Pacific Ocean.

“It’s gone! Help me find it, Ivy! My grandmother’s ring!” Cooper scrambled around scooping futilely at the churning water as it receded. “Help me!” Then to his added horror, he saw that the wave had also swept Ivy away, and she was being dragged out to sea. Away from him.

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